Usher Flop

Okay, I like Usher....kind of. I really liked him in the confessions bit. Out of curiousity, I searched record sales on his most recent album. According to the information I found, this cd hasn't even gone gold yet. How does one go from selling millions of albums, to not even selling half a million. Talk about a HUGE flop. How shameful is that. And no, I haven't purchased the album. For whatever reason, it hasn't been on my list of things to buy, as Beyonce's album hasn't made the list either.

But back to Usher...surely I'm not the only person thinking that his new "family man" image hasn't sat well with the public. The thing he had going with the confessions album is the fact that he and Chilli had just broken up. Not to mention the shit was just bangin. But why is it people aren't interested in the happy, family man he's become? Hell, I don't know. I should be asking myself that....

Goals...

I have them. I don't want to find myself thirty something, fucked up, and with no direction. And honestly, the likelihood of that happening is pretty much nonexistent. I like to do short and longterm goals....

I have figured out that with the help of my brain..and a calculator, I can be almost debt free in the next 14 months. And that's atleast 10k in debt I'm looking to pay off. I just recently applied for a part time job in order to speed up the process.

So that's goal number 1: Pay off my debt, with the exception of the townhouse.
Goal #2: Save 15-20k over the 2 years following my debt payoff.
And shit, if I can save that much money, I'm sure I won't stop. I have to make sure I have money in my pocket, money in my bank acct., and money in my baby's bank acct. Not to mention I plan on sending the little one to private school. That shit is high. But I'm preparing for it.....I can't wait!

Unrealistic Expectations

A lady saw that I was wearing a wedding ring last week and asked "Is it all it's cracked up to be?". Another lady, maybe a day later asked me if I was enjoying the married life. After I told her it was fine, she looked at me in shock and said "Really?!". WTF?!

Who are the people "cracking marriage up to be something"? I think that's the problem a lot of ppl have. They seem to think that once you get married, every problem you ever had disappears. That's not true. I don' t understand that thought process. I didn't have any miraculous expectations when I got married. I don't believe in fairytale shit. I believe that people are people and none of us are perfect. I didn't expect my "frog" to turn into some "prince" after the exchange of vows. I understood that if he was a frog before the wedding, he'll be a frog afterwards. Although I wouldn't actually compare my hubby to a frog, I'm just saying. The imperfections that my hubby had prior to the wedding only shined more after the wedding. As I'm sure mine are shining bright as I type. He's known I wasn't domestic since about the first week or so after meeting me. Now he really notices that shit. So. Oh well. I am who I am....as he is who he is.

Honestly, as far as expectations go, I only had a few going into this. And I feel like the same things were expected of me. When you're not married and you have friends that are, you probably see a lot of issues and drama in the marriages. And chances are those couples were having issues before they got married. Looking at other people's situations, I can see how being married could look like a bad thing to some. Especially if you have a lot of friends that have been married and are now divorced. But you can't base your decision to marry on other people's relationships. You have to know who it is you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with. YOU do. And you can't make that decision looking at the next person. If you don't expect your frog to turn into a prince after you say "I do", then you should be fine. If your frog was already a prince when you met him, then I would imagine that he would remain a prince. Although you do have those instances where people go backwards....

I don't know.....I just wish people would be real. Like really real. Shit don't change. If it's good, it should only get better. If it's bad, it will definitely get worse.....let's be real ppl.

Runner Up

was just not my thing. It's funny because it is indeed true that once you have a "husband" of your own, it's a whole different ball game....

This subject comes up again tonight because there is a young lady that I know who is okay with her position in second place. She's been with this guy, on and off, for about 4 years. He has been with his girl (who is possibly his wife indeed) for well over a decade. I think at one point in their "relationship", she felt bad, but now, not so much.

I had a conversation with her not long ago about this situation. And keep in mind, it was a very brief conversation. But she was out one day, and ended up in the same place as her guy's girl. As a matter of fact, she's bumped into this young lady on several occasions. Now, you would think that anyone with a heart, or even half a conscience, would feel bad...you know, somewhat remorseful about looking into a woman's face, knowing good and hell well they are sleeping with that person's significant other....but, no. Not her. She said she didn't feel bad. Instead of looking at this chick and being convicted, she looked at her, and started to size her up. Now this is one thing I don't understand about "the woman on the side". These pitiful ass women will size up the main girl, compare, contrast....all that shit, as if it matters. The bottom line of the whole situation is they are sleeping with a dude that probably has no intentions of leaving his girl for them. Who gives a fuck if your body is better, her ass is flat, she works at fucking McDonalds? Who cares?! The dude is okay with all the flaws that you bitches point out. So stop it. Just stop!

Excuse me, I had a moment. Anyway, this broad had the nerve to tell me that this guy is not allowed to be with anyone except her and his girlfriend. Seriously? Wow. I just don't see how someone can be happy in that position. And it's crazy because I just found out a little earlier that the "main girl" hired a private investigator months ago to follow her no good ass man. Not only that, but she has all the evidence and shit she needs to fuck the other chick up. Which she's already begun to do. First on her list of things to do, call this chick's "boyfriend" to tell him to tell his girl to stop calling her "husband". She says they've been married for 3 years....ol' girl wasn't aware of a wedding taking place during her years of being 2nd place....I would imagine that a wedding pretty much disqualifies her.....

Fuck it. I'm rambling....I think I got my point across though. Lol.

Right Now

as I type, I think the hardest thing for me is to be quiet. I don't know why folks are testing me, but for some reason it's getting it hard. Bite my tongue? Shit, the muthafucka is almost gone. I don't know what I'm going to do when there's no more tongue left to bite. I'm scared I'm going to resort to biting somebody. And it will probably be the person who's pissing me off. For real.

This Dude

not B. Scott, but the other dude, Marcus Patrick.....

Okay, I find B. Scott to be a "pretty" boy. And I could see how sometimes he could fool a man, but.....this Marcus dude is aware that B. Scott has peen and balls. Now I thought for sure that it was said that Marcus Patrick was a heterosexual. Not that it matters to me that much, but....after seeing him and B. Scott dance on each other seductively as they did, I'm pretty sure there are more than "heterosexual" bones in Marcus's body....

I don't know any straight men that would interact with a gay man in this way. But then again, I don't know every straight man in the world either.....

Whatever. My gaydar screeched so loud when I saw Marcus in this video that it made my head hurt.

I'm Not Depressed

I just feel strange right now. Maybe it's because it's gloomy outside. Or maybe it's because I'm sitting at my desk listening to music that has my mind racing ninety to nothing.....

I don't know.....

On another note, Brandy's cd is jammin. Why are ppl sleeping on this? I can't even pick a true favorite b/c so many of these songs are hott!! I think the one I repeat the most is Piano Man....it's the hotness!

Lessons on Love 101: Follow Your Mind

Remember that old saying "follow your heart"? Well, don't.

That's bullshit. Following your heart will have you doing some crazy shit. Your heart doesn't have a brain, which means if you're following your heart, you're doing so without logic. No rationale.

How many women have stayed in abusive relationships because they were following their dumb ass heart. Or stayed with cheating boyfriends? Again. Following the heart.

Leave that emotional shit out of decisions. That would be my advice to anyone. Following your heart will have you okay with being a side piece of ass...ah hem....

It's never okay to follow your heart. Never. You'll end up fucked up everytime. Now a combination of heart and mind, with mind leading first? Perfectly fine. It's that heart solo that will get you every time.

At What Point

do my opinions become judgement? I'd like to consider myself a nonjudgemental person, but I do believe there's a fine line. Let me check out the free dictionary's definitions....

Okay, so turns out they are pretty much one in the same, with an opinion lacking proof. So maybe I am judgemental after all. But does that mean I'm not allowed to have an opinion about something? That's bullshit.

I understand that ppl are different. We don't all walk the same walk. Now if I tell somebody they need to walk like me because they are walking wrong, then I consider that being judgemental. However, if I just don't like the way someone walks, then I just don't like it. My opinion.

Anywhoo. I don't know...........

Come Out, Come Out...Wherever You Are.....

I'm nosey. Naturally. I can't help it. Even when I know things aren't my business, sometimes I just feel like I have to know.

For the past several years, I've had my suspicions about you and your "best friend". I've watched you guys interact, and that shit just looks flirty to me. I've never seen real men behave the way you all do. Yea, I know you got "hos" all over the place, but that doesn't change my thought process.

Y'all roommies and shit? Yea, I'm sure that's all it is. Lol. Even Ray damn Charles can see that y'all are a couple. And what do you do to confirm my suspicions? You put some bullshit on your facebook about you being in an open relationship with this dude? Men don't play like that. Are you trying to ease your way out of the closet?

I honestly don't care what your preference is. I'll love you regardless, but. Yes, there's a "but". I think it would be much better for the ladies in your life to know the ways you swing. If you'd just be honest, you may be surprised at the ones that won't stop fucking with you. Sometimes ppl just need to know.

They have a right to know if you shit packing on the side. It's not fair for you to put them in that situation without giving them an option. You need to be honest with yourself. And quit thinking you're fooling ppl. The whole damn family knows your ass is funny. You seem to be the only one that doesn't. It's okay. Come out. We're going to love you regardless.

Hey Neffe,

It's me again girl. How's it going?!? Well, you know what today is right? It's Tuesday. I just saw you on television promoting your new book. Ah hem...can't wait to read it Neffe. Can't wait.

I don't even have the energy to question you or Frankie with your get rich quick schemes. You looked cute Neffe. I still can't for the life of me figure out what's going on with your lip. Even shiny and glossed up, that one side still hung lower. Such as life huh?

I know your sister's cd was released today. I meant to go to Best Buy and get it, but I didn't have a chance to. I'm sure it's nice. Despite what you think, I'm a fan (of hers, not yours...or Frankie's). But there is still a small part of me that's hesitant in purchasing the cd because I'm afraid that you're going to make a surprise appearance. I'm not ready for that. Sorry. I'm just not.

Oh, and I see you have a new boyfriend. Soullow? Now what the hell does he do? I'm sure he's plotting his "make money from being associated with someone who's associated with Ms. Cole" scheme as we speak....nonetheless, I'm happy for you. And I hope someone buys your book dear.

Smooches.

Dear Tina,

How's it going chick!? Well, you know anytime I feel the need to "put it on paper", it's serious. Not to mention I promised myself that I wouldn't dare waste another ounce of breath talking to you about the matter.

Anywhoo, Christmas is coming up and I'm sure you plan on attending the family dinner. My main question to you is are you planning on pulling the same stunt on Christmas as you did on Thanksgiving. And just in case you want to play dumb, I'm talking about showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with Ike. Oh, and the new baby.

Now Tina, I want to rewind about 13 months. Thanksgiving 2007, you came to the dinner with a really nice black eye, a bruised ego, and a sad soul. Member? I do. You called the family up crying and shit because Ike and punched you in the damn eye. Member girl? You talked all that shit and even moved out for a couple of months. Now make me understand how just a year later, you're back with Ike and are attempting to take care of your 3rd child, who happens to be Ike's.

I know you know this already, but I'm going to mention it again. You can't get ppl all up in your business, telling them all the horrible things that go on in your house behind closed doors, and expect us to welcome the "culprit" in with open arms. That's your boo. Not ours. I personally don't have any love for Ike's cowardly ass. And I'm about to drop you too.

Do not, I repeat do NOT show up at the Christmas dinner expecting a welcoming committee. Ike is NOT a welcomed guest. We'll take you and the children in. And the only reason you get to come is because you're their mommy. Otherwise, we'd leave you and Ike outside to woop each other's ass. If it were totally up to me I'd probably just tell you all to stay where you are. My damn mouth almost hit the ground when you brought that bastard in the house last month like we were supposed to be happy to see y'all. You better be glad I'm good at suppressing my feelings. Especially when ultimately it has nothing to do with me.

And about your gift this year, we're thinking about getting you a mouthpiece to have handy just in case Ike misses your eye next time he beats your ass. Oh, and condoms. Not even 25 yet with 3 kids and no birth control. Oh yea, you'll have condoms in your goody bag as well.

Bye Dummy.

Trying To Understand

how folks get excited about another muthafucka's come up. I've literally seen/heard people plan their futures around some shit somebody else has going on. It's mind blowing. I mean, talking about quitting jobs, and flying out, and dream cars and shit. Off somebody else's shit. You serious?

Regardless of what's going on in this house, I don't want NOBODY counting my dollars and planning ways to spend them. Not cool. I wouldn't give anyone a free ride around here. Not even the child. Everybody gotta work for they shit. You want something out of it, you damn well had better put something in.

I've heard/seen people drawing up blueprints to their house they are going to build once so and so get out the hood, pick out diamonds and pearls and shit, question whether or not they can claim their -potential soon to be rich child that's actually an adult- on their taxes. All kind of crazy shit.

I can strike oil tomorrow and there would be NO handouts. And you damn sure would have to be doing something for yourself already. I wish a nigga would quit their job with the assumption that they will freeload off of me. A lie. And I don't care who it is. My own mama wouldn't quit her job. And yours wouldn't either by the way. Lol. But seriously, what is up with that? I hear about it too much.

I remember my friend getting excited when I was about to finish college and get a job. I was like, WTF you excited for? Yo ass better finish somebody's college and get your own job. I do NOT, absolutely DO NOT help those that aren't doing shit but waitin on me. It can't happen. It won't. My best and greatest advice to you, not you, but you, with your mooching ass, is DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT quit your job. You won't get a new car, nor will you all of a sudden "ball" outta control. Not on my dollar. We in a recession too? Bitch please.

I Hate Love Songs

Not really, but because I've only had one heartbreak, I kinda do. Anytime I'm for real grooving, if it's some sappy heartbreak shit, my mind only takes me to one place. How the hell can I stop that from happening?

I fucking hate the fact that for a period in my life, which by the way, happens to have been an era of classics (i.e. Enter the Dru, Writings On the Wall, Songs in A Minor, and so many others), I was only with one person. This means that the majority of the time, when one of my old jams comes on, it always goes back to a fucking memory that I'd like to forget. What the hell?!? I don't want to remember that shit. That' s so messed up.

Do you know how many hits were out between the late 90s to early 2000s? Well, there were a ton. I don't want amnesia, but I do wish I had other memories. And it's messed up that so much of my time was centered around certain shit. I couldn't alter it if I wanted to. Well, while I'm at it, let me see if I can find a couple of my favorite songs from that time period. Fuck it.

Why You Can't Be Friends

with your ex...lol. Because I muthafuckin said so. I can't stand when muthafuckas do shit they know they wouldn't want your ass to do. Well....this shit isn't recent, but since I'm on a "blog" roll, I figured why not.

I'm a firm believer of this: If it's good for you, then dammit, it's good for me. If you don't want me to pull out my roll-a-dicks, I mean rolodex, then I suggest you handle that shit. Give a nigga an inch, and they always want to take a damn mile or two.

I could give a shit if y'all were fucking friends on your dates of birth, in the same hospital, on the same wing. I don't care. We aren't playing that shit. I'm not. Which, in turn means you're not either. Ha. How you like them damn apples? I know. Get used to them. They're Granny's grandaughter, Wifey Smith. LMAO. No, seriously though...not happening. If you shared something special with ol' girl, like maybe a kid. Yea, okay. Understandable. But last I checked, you have no common denominators.

Let it go.....or me......ha!!

Married Folks

sometimes have the tendency to act like getting married solved all of their damn relationship woes. That's bullshit. I hate to hear married folks trying to encourage single folks to get married, as if that's the damn solution to it all. It's not. I am an advocate for marriage, but only when ppl feel like they are ready. Not because someone has turned 33 years old and they need to hurry up an marry somebody. Or because they want papers on somebody...

The thing about marriage is no one can tell you how it will be. Although couples may have similar issues at one point or another, ppl are still different. Yea, I heard ppl say "it's work". But the thing is, so many different issues will arise between wedding day and death do you part, that you can't possibly go over all of them.

Nothing is hard when things are going good. That's not just with marriage, but with any relationship. It becomes a challenge when your significant other is on your nerves like a damn itch in the crack of your ass that you can't get to because you're walking through the mall on a Saturday afternoon. You know, the time when you could take something and beat someone into having sense. Rest assured there will be days like that. Then there will be the good days.

I mean, who can actually fathom being with the same person day after day after damn day. Well, that's what you sign up for. And we know many ppl don't honor their "contracts" with one another. You seen the divorce rates lately? Back in the day, the women didn't believe in leaving their husbands. Ass whoopins, outside kids, out all night....sheeeiiitttt.....those women were down. Not today. Look at me crazy and I'm divorcing your ass. Not me for real, but.....

And I think it's even harder for those who are serious about honoring vows and actually being committed to them. I say that because it's easy to go find a lawyer and file for divorce. What's hard is staying married to a man that got another woman pregnant, or staying with someone that has a drinking problem.

And we don't know people like we think we do. I don't give a shit what anybody says. People change. And it's not always for the better. You have to be willing to be there. Change and all. That shit is deep. I've not been married as long as a lot of people, but I have made it farther than a lot of ppl I know. Doesn't mean anything. Some people just can't handle shit. And honestly, if shit were to become that much of a challenge, I may not be able to hang either. Who knows.

Just rambling here.......married people, stop trying to push your shit on other ppl. Let folks get married when they feel it's time for them to. And quit acting like your shit is free of funk. It's not cute. I have a great idea. Married or not. How about you just keep your relationship ups and downs to yourself. Because here's the thing. If you always talk about how good it is, people like me will say "Bitch, you know damn well you just caught that nigga cheating." and if you always talk about how bad it is, people like me will say "Why the hell you still with his trifling ass?". Lol. So either way, hush.

Lol

Wanna know what's really hard? Being born with one brain, but having to think for 2 people. That shit is unreal. In the past 2 weeks alone, I have had to use my brain to think for atleast 4 people. And it's rough when that shit never stops. Anybody have any suggestions on what I can do to make the process easier?

I Lie So Bad

Didn't I say I was going to bed? I am. I just saw a special Infiniti is doing. No interest rates...blah, blah, blah. I want a new car so bad! I have to keep telling myself "No debt, no debt".....

Cause I sure as hell don' t have 35k in cash to buy a car....now I'm for real about to go to bed.

I'm So Glad

I've grown up. Reading a day in the life of the "20 year old" me is almost depressing....sheesh.

There I was, crazy in love with a fella, who clearly loved me when he felt like it. That's funny. One day I'd be confused, the next in love. And why didn't everything register in my little ol' brain. I mean, seriously. I consider myself to be somewhat smart.....so why didn't I get it? Why didn't I figure out that he was truly a man whore? Or that the reason he loved "receiving" head so much was probably b/c he used his vivid imagination to make me a dude while I was giving it to him? I guess him actually eating pussy and fucking a pussy would remind him of the double life he was living? Lol. I don't have any true confirmation that my ex is DL, but fuck that. My gut instinct is enough. No, I never caught him in bed with a man, but shit he did was suspect enough.....

I mentioned a "friend" by the name of "K" in the entry. The fact that she got the abortion wasn't even the biggest thing. It was the reason she did it. Not to mention she was pregnant again less than a year later. Hell, I'm thinking she could have kept the first child. Atleast she was pregnant by someone who would have been capable of providing for the child better than her second chosen baby's daddy. That's neither here nor there......

I'm rambling....and I should go to bed now. Or atleast read another chapter of this bomb ass book. Mary B. Morrison is the shit!!! I love her!!! Not many authors make me excited to see a new book on the shelf when I'm perusing the book aisle in Walmart.......

Later tater! Lol!

7 Years Ago Today

*I was looking back in my journal and found that I'd posted an entry on Dec. 11, 2001*

Been a while...Although I had a good feeling about this semester, I don't think my grades are actually going to reflect the reason I was feeling so good. I found that I'm still lazy and I haven't yet figured out that if I don't study, I won't excel. Boy, I can be a real idiot sometimes. I gotta do better next semester.

Well, football season is over! It was actually over when ______ lost a bunch of games (consecutively). _____got a contact for his left eye midway through the season, which helped him tremendously. He ended the season leading the team in TDs and receptions. They finally started _______@ the "bowl" game and I have a pretty good feeling about next year. I had a good feeling about this year, BUT it didn't work the way [any of us] planned. *subject change*

"K" found out she was pregnant and got an abortion. What a wimp. I don't talk to her much anymore. Probably like 3x a week (for a minute).

Back to ______....we celebrated our 3 year anniversary back in October and I must say this season wasn't as bad as I expected. We still hung out and remained close. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. Saturday night we went out, after being together the whole day, and had one of our little moments. Well, how come that nigga wants to confess some ill stuff to me. Made my stomach turn. But I wanted to know and I dealt with it. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. Then he had the audacity to get mad at me because I called Ken...okay, whatever. Then he pissed me off again because Sunday night we were in the room and my good boyfriend loves to receive, but he's not good at giving yet. He really pisses me off sometimes. I'm really going to have to pray for strength and patience. I just really don't know about us sometimes. Guess time will tell. I do love him though... I don't know!! I'm just kinda confused right now....NEVER put your trust in a nigga! NEVER!!

Blogging

is so therapeutic to me. I used to write in a journal, but these days I can hardly find the time. Just like now, I should be in bed getting every ounce of sleep I can, but I felt the need to blog.....and don't have shit to blog about.....

I could always do my open letter to the "Keyshia Cole" clan, but I'm not in the mood.....

Oh Well...

I tried to make my blog jiggy, but.....I'm not feeling the way these blogs are posting. I think I'm going back to the regular background now...

Frankie,

you, Elite, and your mom Yaya are next on my list. Be glad I'm sleepy as hell.

Dear Neffe,

Hey girl!! I just checked out your most recent appearance on your sister's show. Well, let me just tell you what I thought about tonight's saga.....

Wait though, I did watch last week's show again. I was so busy gettin on Frankie last week that I totally disregarded you....about that private school you're trying to get Brianna in. Did you tell the lady at the school that Brianna made honor roll twice in public school? Seriously? Well, I'm not mad at little Brianna for doing her thing, but let me put you up on a little something. Making honor roll twice is hardly enough to get Ms. Thang in that private school. Nor is the fact that your sister is Keyshia Cole. I'm sure all of the students there have parents who can afford to pay the school's tuition, so.....tell Brianna I said don't worry about going to that school and wearing that stupid uniform. Chances are she won't pass the test required to get in anyway. You do realize you have to be accepted into the place. You can't just pick out a private school and say you're going there. Most times they have criteria you have to meet. And most times the criteria include making more than "honor roll" more than "twice". That's my $0.02 on that.

Fast forward to the mess I saw tonight. Girlfriend, I tell you the truth. Your baby's father. Yes, little Jaylin Welove...."Welove"? Why Neffe? I know Keyshia is your sister and all, but you should have slapped her gap back in her mouth when she came up with that name. Anyway, that baby's daddy of yours. Chile, you asked him if he was drunk or high? Did you really have to ask him that? I wish you could have heard me yelling "YES!" through my plasma. And if he wasn't high or drunk, my next question goes to you....were you high or drunk when you let him hit? And raw dog at that? He's 33 and doesn't have a clue? I bet you knew that when you screwed him. Yes, he does need to take care of his child, but it's not really fair for you to throw all of his "nothingness" in his face now. You were well aware of everything he was not when you let him pump and skeet. You're not fooling me. Sorry.

And one more thing, put some damn clothes on. Why the hell is it appropriate for you to have your little boy out while you prance around with shorts up your ass exposing all of your "underneath the cheek" blackness? Oh, I get it. You knew you were going to see your child's dad so you decided to put your "freakum" clothes on so he could see what he's missing. That's funny. Inappropriate at the time, but funny nonetheless.

Shit Neffe, I almost forgot to ask you this shit. It's been bothering me since the first season. What the hell happened to your lip? It's like the right bottom side of your top lip has a permanent swollen spot. I'm just curious.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Grow up Neffe. I'm starting to think you'll be acting like Frankie in the next few years.

Sincerely,

Tickled Pink

Wow....

Just watched the latest episode of Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is.....I don't know who I should address first.....

Dear Frankie,

How's it going? I'm going to try to make this note short, sweet, and to the point. First, I want to say that I'm glad you were able to escape the walls of jail and go straight into the arms of your celebrity daughter, Keyshia. I think that's awesome. I truly hope that one day you will decide to stop hanging out at clubs and doing "shows" in an effort to capitalize off your daughter's success. Get a job. A real one. Debuting alongside Keyshia on her reality television show is hardly enough to call a career....

Anyway, I was watching the show tonight and noticed you trying to encourage your grandchild to go to private school. That's pretty cool too. I think that would be excellent for her. However, you may want to use a different tactic next time. I recall you telling her that you "went to private school". Frankie, Frankie, Frankie.....you also went to jail. You telling that child that you are a product of private school is pretty much what you DON'T want to do. Why would she decide to dress up in her little blazer and loafers now? Oh, because her jailbird grandma went to private school too and she can't wait to follow in your footsteps? Give me a break. Again, I like what you doing, I just think you should re-evaluate your approach.

Another thing, the guy you're dating now...so, he's never been to jail? Doesn't do drugs or any of that? Frankie. Frankie. C'mon now Frankie. Maybe he hasn't been to jail. When is his courtdate? And you know, I could be wrong, but that mufucka sure look like he would fit right in. Hell, I can see him selling a little weed here and there. I mean I know I can't just assume that without knowing, but...if it looks like a duck.....

Anyway Frankie, do your thing. Oh shit, I almost forgot to mention this. How old are you? You need to stop wearing those skinny jeans with the Jordans and shit. You too damn old to still be wearing that little girl shit. I bet you got more forces than your boyfriend. Get your ass somewhere and sit down!

Sincerely,

Amused by You

Revelation of a Jumpoff

I know I'm always talking about somebody fucking. Not because I want to, but because a small percent of people I'm associated with are always doing it. They haven't mastered the "mental of fucking", you know, Fucking Without Feelings 101.

I was fortunate enough to figure that shit out early. I started having sex at an early age. Thirteen. I'd say that's way too early for anyone to be having sex, but that's neither here nor there. As I was saying though....the guy that I lost my virginity to was also a virgin, and he happened to be someone that I truly cared a lot about. That's funny thinking from a 13 year old huh? I know right. Good thing is, almost 15 years later, he and I are still close. With limitations of course. Saying that to say, even though I obviously was not old enough to make decisions on who I care for and how much, I don't regret losing my innocence to him.

So it wasn't that experience that taught me that sex does not equate love. It was all the experiences in between. Ninth grade year I wanted to be like a boy. I wanted to get with a guy because he looked like he could do it. I had my first experience then approaching a guy and basically telling him what was up. However, I still ended up liking the guy, only to have him screw my best friend in the end, so......not a good look. So the lesson had to be learned some time after that.

Now fast forward to the reason for this entry. I talked to my friend earlier and found out she hadn't talked to her new friend in over a week. She met him about 3 weeks ago. Probably screwed him within the first week, and one other time before he went MIA.

See, here's the thing. She spent a lot of time analyzing this guy. His potential to be a longterm mate, immaturity, assets, liabilities...all that. And sure enough, he spent a lot of his time not stuttin' her ass. She realized that last week when she noticed that the last time she'd talked to him had been well over 48 hrs. Actually, it was probably the fact that she figured out she was getting the run around when she called his phone. And what grown ass nigga lets his cousin keep his phone anyway?! That's a topic that deserves an entry separate from this one...

So anyway, today I asked her if she'd talked to dude.
Her: No, not since last Saturday girl.
Me: Really? Wow.
Her: I feel like such a whore right now.
Me: People still do that? Seriously, who does that these days?
Her: I don't think it's ever happened to me before.
Me: Well, I think it's happened to me once, but by the time I got done reading that nigga he was trying to for real date me and shit.
Her: Oh well. Fuck him.
Me: Yea, fuck him. Another one bites the dust. He's going to call you. Watch. He's going to call with some bullshit. I give him 2 weeks. That muthafucka gon' call you and act like everything is cool.
Her: He ain't got to......

So tonight, I find out that she has indeed talked to this dude. And what did he say? He's been out of town. Now I'm not sure if he called her first, or if she sent him that lame ass-guess I was nothing more than a fuck to you- txt msg. I sure hope he atleast called her before she sent that shit. I wouldn't have texted his ass shit. That kind of shit goes against my code. Now the muthafucka is going to do just enough so that she doesn't think she's one of his jumpoffs, and she's going to fall for it.

And we're back to square one....why don't these folks learn something from me.

20 Questions

One of my biggest pet peeves is being asked questions. And that is more than one question at a time.

Question after question after damn question. If you have to ask me something, and it's something that you specifically want to know, just damn ask. Figure out how to form that shit so you only have to ask one damn question. Don't beat around the damn bush. It doesn't take all that. By the time you get to what's important, I don't feel like answering anymore. I freakin hate being interrogated like I'm on stand.

Figure that shit out before you start questioning me like I'm the witness to the murder that just took place. Damn.

SSDD

Same shit, different dude....

Now, I never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed, shit, not even salutatorian. As a matter of fact, I don't even think I was in the top 20% of the class. But I wasn't last either. And I know I'm no dummy......

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this simple shit. Let me see how short I can make this story. If you are one of those women who are always on the prowl for a man, this just may apply to you. If you always meet guys, date them for a short period of time, then things just don't work out, I'd like to challenge you. I want to challenge you to do a little bit of self reflecting. Now I'm not talking to the ladies that are meeting losers. I'm speaking to the ones that meet what appears to be the same kind of guy. The ones that always end up treating you the same way. Some of us don't realize that we determine the way we are treated in relationships. That doesn't mean a dude won't attempt to treat you like shit, because he will. And if you let him get away with it, he'll do it again.

This is the situation. I know this young lady. Young, but too old to be acting the way she does. She wants to meet a nice guy. She can't understand why the guys treat her so bad. She's "nice" and she's also an attractive girl, but for whatever reason, the end result is always the same. It's funny that I know why, but she doesn't.

She's presently trying to leave her child's father alone, and in the process, she's meeting other people. I think that's great. It's lovely. However, if you ever want a guy to have respect for you, you have to demand it. And I don't think it's easy to demand respect with your panties at your ankles while your legs are spread eagle above dude's head.

It's okay if you have established a relationship with the guy that says "I'm not trying to settle down" or "I'm doing my own thing and could give a shit about what you do when you leave here". It's fine. And I've noticed the guys chase you more when you're trying to relay that msg to them. Anyway, what I'm saying is, you canNOT, absolutely canNOT sleep with a guy after the first date, and expect him to take you seriously.

The poor girl let dude run the "We've been knowing each other a long time, this is overdue" line on her. Me knowing of somebody for years is not necessarily an okay to go on and give him the goods after the first official date. Have I ever done it? Yes. Was it with someone I wanted to settle down with? No. That may be the difference. Maybe.

Now I won't keep wasting my breath. As a matter of fact, I told the chick to go on home once she'd escaped his "sexy" presence without screwing. She couldn't. She turned around and went back, and he banged her.....will he continue to call? Yes, why wouldn't he call his new jump off? Will he see her as "wifey" material? Probably not. I hope I'm wrong though.

Breaking Up

Is hard to do? Is it? Really?

Well, I guess that depends on your role. Dumper or Dumpee? I was thinking about break-ups because a little earlier I had a conversation with someone who's attempting to go through it. All of those feelings. Wondering if you're doing the right thing. If the other person's doing the right thing. Will the other person regret leaving? What will the family say? How long before karma strikes.....whooo? That's too much shit to be thinking about. Why can't we just get over it?Immediately. Oh, I guess it's because love doesn't work that way. Yea, that's what it is. I remember now.

Ain't nothing like a blindsided break-up to get your blood flowing. I remember mine like it was yesterday. Kind of. Shit, I know I was caught completely off guard. Just a couple months prior, we were talking about getting married, and all of a sudden "we been having problems". Well, it really is nothing like having some "problems" that you don't know shit about. Anyway, after 5 years of ups, downs, ins, and outs, I found myself having to start over. My friend had always told me to "keep an ace in the hole" for times like this, but I didn't listen.


I did however meet an interesting guy less than 24 hours later. He was a nice distraction while it lasted. Oh, and let's not forget me and the mall becoming best friends. I got a new wardrobe, new perfume, and new makeup. Hell, I don't even wear makeup, but it sure felt good buying it.

I spent the next several months post breakup studying, dating, more shopping, and getting to know me. Those were really good times. And just to think, that ex boyfriend of mine had had the audacity to ask me "What would you do if we broke up?" Nigga please. "Move on.", and that's exactly what I did. Son of a bitch. Who the hell did he have me confused with?!

Wedlock Bullshit

There's a rumor going around the world that being married is the end all, be all answer to everything. As a married woman, I have to disagree.

I watch ppl's youtube shit sometimes, and rather than comment, I just keep it moving. It's amazing to me how ppl think that everyone should live their lives the same way they did.

I find it absolutely mind blowing that some ppl think that because you're married, you're excluded from potential bullshit.
WTF?? So the latest thing I've been hearing has been all this talk about "wedlock" shit. According to some, women who have children out of wedlock don't deserve any help because they weren't married when they gave birth.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a good look to pop out child after child without being in a stable relationship (i.e. married), but.......I also don't think that just because you don't have a baby out of wedlock means that the father of the child will be responsible, or that the child will have a more stable life.

I think all that "married before children" bullshit is just that. Bullshit. Maybe back in the day, before divorce rates were so high, being married meant something. Divorce rates are too damn high for anyone to think that marriage=stability. It absolutely does NOT.

In a perfect world, no one would have sex before marriage, and ppl would take their vows seriously. But this world ain't perfect. A man that is married to the mother of his child is not necessarily going to be a better father than the one who is not. I don't see it. It's not reality. People need to start being damn responsible for shit they do. If you make fuckin babies, then be damn responsible for their little asses.

I mean is it really better to be married before you have a baby , only to get a divorce, or is it better to not even bother marrying someone just because you are going to have their child? Seriously.....

Keyshia Handicapped?

Okay, so I was watcing Keyshia Cole's show tonight and noticed her whip her bad ass car into a handicapped park? Keyshia, seriously? WTF?

And what the hell is up with Frankie's thuglife boyfriend? Who by the way looks young enough to be her youngest son.

Oh, and one more thing. Why the hell does Neffe have a manager? What the hell career does she need to be managed? Last season she was barely getting a job at the damn toll booth.....I guess.

Fuckin on Furniture

I don't like the idea of fucking on furniture. Mainly the soft, cushy kind. If it's a hard surface, such as a counter or table top, that's one thing. But couches and shit? Hell no. See, hard surfaces can be disinfected. Even if I screw on my countertop, and someone decides to make a PB&J sandwich on that very same spot the next day, I know in my mind that the area has been disinfected. I may have a smirk on my face, but still, it's been sanitized.

You can't sanitize a fucking couch. Or the damn pillows. Men will fuck anywhere without a second thought. I can't stand a bare ass on shit that other ppl have to sit on and that includes a damn bed comforter. Bare asses don't belong on that shit. And ass juice definitely doesn't belong on it.

Ooooh I hate that shit!

WTF Is You Calling Me For?!?

For real, seriously? You called me fo' times, yes fo', not four, not 4, but fo' times, for what? I was obviously too busy to get to the phone. Hold your horses. One damn second.......

When I'm at work, dammit I'm working. Shit. Then you text me to ask which department I'm in, and you want the number. At this point I text your ass back because I figure, hey, maybe you're filling out an application or some shit.

NO! I get back to MY desk only to have my coworker tell me you called.....WTF?! So now, yea, I'm going to call you back. Because surely this is an emergency. Boy was I wrong.
*her phone ringing*
Her: What the hell you doing!!??
Me: WORKING NIGGA, what's up?
Her: *giggling and shit* Oh, what you doing Saturday?
Me: Working,why? What's up?
Her: Oh, girl, I need somebody to keep ****** for me while I go to the game. I heard it was going to be cold and I don't want to have him out.
Me: Oh......you better bundle him up!

Surely you didn't blow up my damn phone, AND call my office, to ask me to keep your kid while you do some recreational shit. Hell naw!! Shit naw!! I'm not going to blow up somebody's damn phone b/c I need a babysitter. Give me a freakin break! Ppl, take care of your kids. If you want to do some extra shit, and your child can't go, then dammit sometimes your ass can't go either! Hell, if you were going to work some damn where, that would be different. But hell naw. Shit, me and my hubby have to steal fuckin recreational time! Your ass is not about to get it all willy damn nilly! Believe that!

Those Atlanta Chicks

You know, the housewives of Atlanta....

Well, for the longest time, I thought that the "Real Housewives of Atl" was some fictional shit that, hell, somebody just made up. But after reading Jia's Blog, I realized that it was a real live reality show. And since I loves me some reality TV, I thought, why not...

So let me get into my feelings about this shit here.....if I'm supposed to be sitting home watching these ladies on tv, wishing I could somehow have their lives, ball out of control, and not have a care in the world, WRONG! It didn't quite work for me.

First of all, it appears that these ladies only "came up" because of their husbands. Now while I'm all for a woman doing her own thing, it's not quite the same knowing that if your hard leg doesn't provide your funds, the show won't go on. You know...one monkey don't stop no show, however, in their cases, the show WON'T go on.

So anyway, as I was saying....these chicks.....

I won't speak on the white chick (Kim), because she's nobody's wife. She has a sugardaddy. Being somebody's sugardaughter hardly has any of the same responsibilities as a wife. Now the other ladies, wait, with the exception of NeNe, have been married, or are currently married to professional athletes.

NeNe married some real estate mogul, who according to gossip sites, just lost his house. How the hell you sell houses, but you can't keep yours?! NeNe is the one who obviously is not used to money. At all. One of the episodes I saw showed her hubby giving their child a check for $1000 (on his birthday). Not impressed. Shit, my toddler has that much plus some in her bank account. Whoopty damn doo. He could have done more. Especially since we know that they are putting on a show for the cameras.

The other chicks though. The professional athletes' wives/ex-wives....
Out of the three, my favorite is Lisa. She was previously married to the "S" of LSG. You know, Keith Sweat. Now I don't know what she did before she met him, but I'm going to assume that he was her ticket into the world of the "elite". I still like Lisa though. She seems to be the most down to earth. The last show I saw, her hubby was trying out for teams, and had made the Oakland Raiders team. I don't know how long ago these episodes were filmed, but that nucca ain't with Oakland no mo. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure that he's with any team. So again, not impressed. Who wants to be on pins and needles all summer long, waiting on some team to be impressed enough with the hubby to call him back.

The next chick, Deshawn or Shawney, whatever, is married to a basketball player. Who also no longer plays basketball. I think he's still doing something for the NBA though. She appears to be a nice girl, but I hate the way she enunciates words, or doesn't. She left the "l" out of jewelry....it sounded like "jewry". That shit annoys me. Because you sitting up here asking if your dad can basically have a bar in his room, because you got it like that, but you're saying "jewry"? Seriously? And I know she wears a good weave, and it's cute, but the fact that her sides are as thin as they are, and the rest of the hair just makes itself THICK, is just crazy. It would be better if she didn't show those sides so much.

But lastly, my girl Sheree. She was in the middle of going through a divorce from her professional athlete husband, who doesn't play football anymore either. She wanted a "7 figure settlement". Sheree is a cute girl. She has a great figure. And apparently she was married to her ex long enough to bear 3 of his kids. And speaking of "bear"....did you see the muthafucka she was married to?! SHIT! That dude is beastly. When I think of those two as a couple, the only thing that comes to my mind is...she must have been seeing $$$$$$$$ when she even allowed a phone number to be exchanged. Hell naw. I don't know if all the money in the world could make me blind to that ugga bugga. I mean, in order for me to get to that point of happy relationship/marriage, there would have to be a lot of secret purging and shopping on Rodeo Drive. And I don't think that would be enough.....Anyway, to each, his own. I do see why she had to go on and divorce his ass though. Could you imagine that muthafucka aging? Whew!

You Iggin' Me?

Am I ignoring you? Hell yes I am.

I see you calling me at random times during the day. I choose not to answer most times. Let me tell you why. I don't want to be "your person". I don't want to be the one you have to call with your issues. I don't want to always be expected to come to your rescue. Honestly, I don't.

It's one thing for you to need something every now and again. But this shit is getting ridiculous. Understand I have my own family that needs me. I can't keep having these calls coming in at crazy hours of the night, only for you to be on the other end of the phone crying and shit. I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR PERSON!!!

And what the hell are you crying for? Oh, you're emotional after child #3. Okay. I get it now. Well, lucky for you I can have a little empathy for you since I don't want you to have any postpartum depression. But you need to hurry up and get over this shit.

Now tell me again why you tripping because this sorry ass dude you can't get over is showing his ass. Hell, he been showing it. Surely it doesn't look any different now than it did a year ago, maybe 4. What's the problem? That's what I thought. Understand that you are making these choices. Now quit expecting me to drop what I'm doing in the wee hours of the night to play "Dr.Phil" to your ass.

As long as you know, I see you calling me. I'm just ignoring your ass.

How Much Longer

until I get my buzz? I have had the worst headache, like all freakin' day! It's probably my sinuses. Nevertheless, I decided I would take my last lorcet (got 'em after giving birth to my little one)........

Now how much damn longer do I have to wait before I start to get sleepy!?! Shit.

Man....

It's some ignorant ass ppl in the world..............

Steve Urkel

Okay, so Jaleel White is hosting this "Family Matters" deal on Nickelodeon for the week. Why is he so attractive to me? Is it because of what he looked like as Urkel? Shit, whatever it is.....he ain't half bad. Wow.....how lame is that!?!

I Guess It's True

...when they say one muthafucka can mess it up for everybody.

Speaking from my own personal experience, I had a little day of reflection not too long ago. I thought back to the time in my life where I was having to mend a broken heart. It was my first TRUE relationship, the guy I honestly thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. Five years of my prime I spent with "him", anticipating wedding bells, picket fences and shit.....you know, the "American Dream", when in one phone call, it all changed.

He was the one that I would do anything for. Anything. I had very "wife-like" characteristics in that relationship. I wanted to be domestic. I wanted our relationship to work. I wanted to "fix" it. I was forgiving. You know, all the shit that you are when you have NO damn sense. And I wouldn't honestly say I didn't have sense (totally), it was just one of those things.

I had never been so patient before in my life.....ever. After that relationship ended, I got a good whiff of Beyonce's Me, Myself, and I, then decided that it would be that way from that point on.
My patience is almost non-existent now. From the endpoint of that relationship to present, I have not loved the same.

It shouldn't be that way, but what can I say? It is very hard to give someone your all, only for it to be in vain. Why should I be expected to keep loving hard, in hopes that there will be one guy that will truly honor and cherish me? I feel bad for my husband because I know that I'm capable of loving a lot harder than I do. Atleast I used to be. I wish my husband could have met "me" before the broken heart. He'd be impressed. I guess as long as he loves me with guards up, I have no reason to let them down.....right?!?

I Miss the Days When.....

working more than 2 days out of the week was too much.

the major downfall to having sex was getting pregnant, not HIV.

relationships were simple.

being a whore only meant you had given your boyfriend head.

gas was $1.00/gallon.

milk was $2.00/gallon.

my clothes size was still a single digit number.

Friday nights consisted of football or basketball games, and hanging out afterwards.

I had no idea what debt was.

I could give a shit about planning for retirement.

I could stay up all night and be fully functioning the next day.

whoppers were $0.99.

owning a designer purse automatically deemed you "tha shit".

my grandparents were alive and well.

turning 18 was my next biggest thing to do.

I didn't have to pay for insurance.

going to the fair was actually fun.

I could hold my liquor.

I could afford to lose focus for a slight second.

having $2,000 saved was a big damn deal.

life was easy........


Welcome to adulthood, huh?

Gotta embrace that shit!

You Know What?

I'm so over all the drama with you and your boyfriend, fiance, baby daddy....whatever you want to call him....

If you're going to leave, then leave already. I can't say that I feel sorry for you, because I don't. What happened? What was that straw that broke the camel's back? He isn't doing anything different. He treats you the same way he's been treating you for the past 2 years. Why should I lend another 10 minutes of my life, that I can't get back, listening to the same bullshit over and over again?

And another damn thing, I don't understand why your heart is broken. Are you trying to mend a heart that's been broken for 2 years? Or is this a fresh break? Was it coming to the realization that you're trying to move on with your life?

Shit. For once, why don't you try putting all your energy into you and your children. You got with this guy thinking he was going to be your ticket out of the hood, only to find yourself in the exact same situation, in a different part of the hood. Oh, plus a baby to go with it.

I know the dude is crazy. We all know. Everybody knew except you. I still don't know what you were blinded by, but anyway. Do me a favor and look in the mirror.....keep looking. Although I know he treated you horrible, you have to take responsibility for your actions too. Figure out who you are and what your motives are for doing things that you do. Get it together bitch. You got kids to take care of.............................

Talk About Inspiration....

You ever seen someone that immediately made you want to stop what you were doing and start doing some damn sit-ups or some shit? Well, it's been happening to me a lot lately.

I'm watching a throwback video (TLC~Creep), and I'm a little jealous right now. Those chicks were sooooooo freakin hottt! I get the same sense of envy from D.Woods of Danity Kane. Watching MTB4 last night, I almost dropped down and gave me 5o.

Anywhoo, my diet will start sooner than later. I'll show their asses!

Republican Party

Okay, I know its all about a personal choice, but.......

When you see a handful of black folks at the RNC, what is that? I know we are all entitled to do as we choose, but c'mon now. I just wonder if they feel like they've made it. Or if they feel like they're accepted......

I'd be willing to bet that the majority of the "other" people in the republican party don't want their black asses in there whoo-ha-ing with them....why does it almost make my skin crawl?
It's like I want to grab a "nigga" republican by the shoulders, shake the shit out of them, and tell them to go sit down somewhere.

I dated an afro-american republican once....didn't work so well. I wonder if McCain has his vote.

Truth Is.....

1. I'm not always as nice as I appear to be.

2. I don't really like people as much as they think.

3. I don't have a shit load of friends.

4. That's probably because of #2.

5. I love legs.

6. I don't truly know what a whore is. Seriously. Is it based solely on the number of sexual partners?

7. I almost did something stupid.....

8. Like bought another car.......

9. I don't believe gas prices are truly going down.

10. People are nosey.

11. Some people don't think past their nose.....

12. I probably don't think past mine sometimes.

13. I procrastinate. Way too much.

14. I don't remember much about any past sexual encounter I've had....unless it was horrible.

15. I'm guilty of using someone for sex before.

16. I thought it was funny.

17. He didn't.

18. LMAO....

19. I'm glad about being married to one penis.....

20. I don't know if I'll be sexually active when I turn 80.

21. That's gross.

22. Referring back to the word "whore", I wonder if my cousin is a whore.

23. I told a lie the other day.

24. I don't even know if it was necessary.

25. I didn't lie to my husband though.

26. Why don't people mind their own business?

27. It was a good lie though.....Lol!

Get the Fuck Outta Here!

Man, I almost can't believe this shit, take that back. Yes I can.


A "friend" of mine, you may know her as "Jen", called me the other day. It had been a couple of weeks since the last conversation. The last time we talked, she had a job. She was supposed to start on Saturday. Fast forward two weeks, we talk. I ask her how's work going. Her reply, "It's not."....huh? So I asked again. Same answer. She then goes on to tell me how she couldn't do it...

yada, yada, ya......and then those words....."I mean, call me crazy, but I just can't settle for no anything!" WHAT!!!!????


Okay, so this is my question. What the hell you mean you ain't gon' just settle? Bitch, you don't have a job. And not only that, you don't have a degree. Your work ethics suck. You suck. Your attitude sucks.....must I go on? I said all that to say this, what qualities do you possess that will have companies knocking down your door? Why would employers flood your voicemail begging you to call them? Your ass been fired from almost every job you've ever had, starting way back in damn high school, and you got the audacity to say some shit like you ain't settling!? Gimme a freakin break. Don't you understand that it would be the company that's settling. Not you. You ain't got shit to offer any"damn"body but damn call ins and a nasty attitude.



I can't stand a mofo that ain't got shit to be picky. You better take what you can get and make it work. Hell!

Rush Hour?

Okay, can somebody please explain to me what the big deal is about rushing into marriage?

Weddings are supposed to be exciting. When I find out someone I know is engaged, I want to be happy for them. Why is it right now, at this very moment, I'm not. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not angry, but....I'm just like whhhyyyyyyy!!!!???

Some may say it's easy for me to say, being that I'm married and all. I disagree. I haven't been married a super long time, and it's not like being married exempts you from bullshit. It doesn't.
I'm sure we all know somebody that's married and going through some unnecessary stuff.

Why do ppl think that marriage is the answer? Man cheating? Marry him. Man stay out all night? Marry him. Man kicking your ass? Marry him. And the list goes on. Everybody wants to find out for themselves. Marriage is NOT the answer, especially if you're contemplating marrying a fool!

When I reflect on my decision to marry my husband, it was because I had seen it all, and even done it if I felt froggy enough. He was the man in my life that was not replaceable. Of course this was around the time Beyonce released that hit Irreplaceable. Gosh I'm glad Ne-Yo got the urge to pen that one. A true classic! Anyway, he was the one though. I hadn't met anyone like him. This was the reason he was my "it". Now if all these ppl feel this way about their significant others, it's totally understandable. My thing is why do the chicks know they are with fools, and feel the need to "make it official" as Lil' Mo said. Why!

What the hell is marriage going to do besides legally bind these chicks with fools? That shit is not that serious. If my husband were treating me like shit, beating my ass, cheating, etc. before the wedding, you could bet your bottom damn dollar there wouldn't have ever been one. Screw that!


Anyway, guess I could just go on and wish the couples luck. Maybe they really are meant to be....

My Confessions (only the beginning)

Yea, I confess, admit, don't deny, whatever you want to call it, that I fucked a fat boy "just to see what it would be like". We met several years ago through a mutual friend. It actually started out via telephone conversations. He was cool. Maybe a year or two younger, but still cool. Not to mention his big ass had a voice like he belonged in Boyz II Men.

After several phone conversations, I figured it was time to have a face to face meeting. Now I was told that he wasn't "fat", he was "solid", like a football player. I should have asked what damn position. I asked a couple of people who knew him. "Is he fat?" One reply was, "Yea, I guess you could call him fat". Another reply was, "Girl, he's like a big ol' teddy bear." I tried to prepare myself for his "bigness" (lol). I wasn't ready. He showed up at my door. Man, when I opened that door I thought to my self DAMN YOU BIG! Those measurements he'd given me were a little off. Either he wasn't as tall as he said, or he conveniently forgot to get a recent weight. Nonetheless, we talked that night. He referred to his mom's old ass van ( I think it was an astro van) as a truck. That shit bugged the hell outta me. Anyway, we talked. The sound of his voice reminded me of the big guy I knew just from phone conversations. Fast forward to the interesting stuff.

A couple of weeks go by. He comes over a few times a week. Cooks for me ALL the time (my mom claims he's trying to make me fat like him) and we just kick it. I don't remember the very first time we did it, but I do remember that it wasn't bad. It wasn't the best I've ever had, but it wasn't bad. I remember having to push his belly out of the way when I rode him. I remember when he got it from the back, he had to prop his gut up on my ass. How hilarious right! I also remember us taking a shower and me telling him that I should be in the front because the water was unable to reach me. His BIG, long, wide, black ass in that shower taking up all that space. What the hell! Ooooh! I remember one time he laid on top of me, trying to be all sweet and shit. I couldn't breathe. Boy I struggled for breath as I told his ass he was too heavy!

After a few weeks of that project/experiment, I was done. He kinda started disgusting me after while. Always lying his big ass on my floor sleeping and shit. I don't know what it is about seeing a fat person sleep, but I wanted his ass to get up and just "be busy". You know, do some damn jumping jacks or something. And speaking of "lying", I discovered he had a slight problem with telling the truth. He lied about stupid shit. I couldn't take all that. Oh, and get this shit. This nigga had an extra nipple! It wasn't like a fully formed nipple, it looked like a small mole or something. When I noticed it, I asked what it was. This nigga said, "Oh, that's my third nipple!". He said that shit with pride! Like it was funny or something. Oh hell no! That was my fat boy experience. I haven't had one since. Shit, been there, done that, and got the damn T-shirt. I think I really do have the t-shirt. There's a mystery shirt in my drawer that's like a freakin 5XL. That shit has to be his!

Seriously

I have got to take my black ass to bed. Sittin' up here playing around with this blogger like I don't have to work in the a.m.

Goodnight!!! I'll have to pick up where I left off tomorrow!

Spit Next Time Bitch!

How do you wake up every morning with pure foolishness on your mind? Each day you rise, you're trying to figure out how to break up a marriage. Why? Is it because this man, as married and trifling as he is, got you pregnant and still won't leave his wife? Is that why?

I have a question for your sick ass. Why did you think he would? All the while you were giving him head, he said everything you wanted to hear, didn't he? Newsflash! He didn't mean that shit. Now you got yo country ass riding back and forth, yelling out of car windows, and calling and harassing the Mrs. and shit.

Why the hell are you mad at her? You take time to make a whole myspace page dedicated to this affair you've had with someone else's husband, and you think that's okay? You saying shit like "That dumb bitch needs to get a life." and all that other shit you wouldn't dare say to her face. She needs to get a life. You serious? Is that because you want the one she has? Is it because you want the nice house and nice car? Did you think sleeping with him and allowing him to get you pregnant would seal the deal? Is that what you thought?

Well, answer this question. How did it feel knowing that man was at home taking care of his wife and child while you were giving birth to yours? What did he tell you to make you think he'd really trade the life he had at home, for a life with you?

I'm sure he didn't know what a psycho pussy he was screwing at the time. Otherwise I'm sure he would have picked another one. You are truly one crazy bitch. This ain't even my battle to fight, but because you make it your business to harass my friend every chance you get, you're starting to work my nerves. If I could beat your ass myself and not have to worry about consequences and shit, you better believe I would.

I do want to offer you a small piece of advice, next time a nigga nuts in your mouth, you need to spit that shit out. Swallowing apparently doesn't do shit but make you damn crazy!

Why Do Folks Cheat? The Million Dollar Question!

Boy if I could come up with a great answer to this question I'd be rich enough to bail Ed McMahon out of trouble. It's not just men. It's us too. Why can't people be honest? Why do some shit you can't be honest about? I have had my experience with dog ass niggas, and at this point in my life, I can honestly do without.

Yea, I'm connected right now. As a matter of fact, I plan on being for the rest of my life. Til death do us part was what I repeated back to the preacher.......I'm cool with that. But please believe that I won't be joining the "All Men Cheat" movement. I'm not going to claim that my spouse is going to cheat. The only advice I have for his ass is if he does, he better damn sure make sure he doesn't get caught.

And speaking of the "All Men Cheat" movement, why is that shit so acceptable. "He just being a man" my ass. Just like a nigga's dick gets hard, my pussy can get wet. That's not an excuse. It's bullshit. If your dick get that hard, beat the muthafucka! Don't go screw some other chick and then think I'm going to get over it because you're just "being a man". That ain't the kind of man I want. I'll pass on that one!

I Got Some Good Pussy!

So one too many times you've heard the words "Damn girl, you got some good pussy!" And now you actually believe this. You've been told "Damn girl, you give some good head!" And now you believe this as well. Now, not to say that those statements aren't true, but......

What you have to understand is the way men think. Yea, you may be a good fuck, but the truth of the matter is, if that's all you have to offer, it doesn't say much. Not sure if you realize this or not, but......after a nigga busts a nut, it's back to the same ol' thing. This means if he was dogging your ass before he got in it, he'll dog you after his euphoric state wears off from busting a nut.

Your pussy absolutely will NOT keep any man interested. It's too many pussies around for yours to be that special.

Oh, but you are different. You're that chick that will let a nigga know you "know the game". You'll talk to him like you're one of the guys....encourage him to answer the phone if "that girl" calls. Tell him some shit like "Don't do that girl like that." I guess that's your way of letting him know that you're cool......well, guess what!?! He could care less. You're still just a piece of twat to him. And it could be "good twat", but that won't be enough.

I'm glad I learned that shit early on.

Where's Waldo? I mean Aunt Flo

Okay, if I'm not pregnant, where the hell is my period. I've taken several pregnancy tests...all negative. So what the hell is going on?

Dear Jen

I know you're probably not going to like what it is I have to say, but as someone I call a friend, I feel like it's my duty to give you my opinion.

First things first, I do hate that you are going through this. You have asked on several occasions "Why?". I'm going to challenge you to do something. Take a little time to reflect on your life's choices, YOUR life's choices. At some point, you should notice somewhat of a pattern. Over the years you have made mistakes, as we all have. The problem is, at some point or another, you've repeated the same mistakes. That's where the problem comes in. We are going to make mistakes. The key is to learn from them.

You apparently haven't learned from any of them. You will never be able to go forward if you don't rectify the present. If you don't find a way to put yourself in a situation to where you won't need someone to pay the bills, you'll always be dependent. You have to get it together. I can't continue to have my head hurt after listening to the same shit. It's gotten old.

I do want you to be encouraged. If you don't do anything to prepare for your future, you will always be dependent on another nigga. Tighten up chica!

Why me?

If I don't know anything else, I know that as a responsible adult, you have to be accountable for things that you do, and the consequences that follow.

A friend of mine, we'll call her "Jen", has been the exact same since I met her many years ago. Lazy, trifling, poor work ethic......the list goes on. Well, just recently, like within this past year, she's done even more idiotic things, and for some reason she can't figure out "why these things always have to happen to her".

Let me just recap the past 12 months of her life......basically, she meets this guy and falls in love with his stuff, or what "stuff" he appears to have. These things include, a decent car (and by that I mean one with a/c), nice clothes, rental property, and a fucked up attitude that she knew nothing about.

Since falling in love with the fool, we'll call him "Ike", she's had her first experience with mental and physical abuse. And this muthafukka ain't even cute.....anyways, so she's getting her mental torn down by "Ike" more often than not. You know, he's that nigga that's never satisfied. She cooks for his ungrateful ass, it's not enough. He needs more vegetables. You know, shit like that. So I'm not sure how many times he's laid hands on her, I definitely know it's been more than once. Then her sorry, poor work ethic having ass wishes to get fired from her job. Over some bullshit.

Now she's sittin her ass at their apartment looking dumb. Feeling like she has no choice but to keep puttin up with his shit because he's paying the bills. She doesn't want to go home to her parents because she feels like its not "a step up" from where she is now. This is crap, but it's her truth.

So I said all that to say, now her lazy ass wants to sit around and question the world about why these things always happen to her. Now I know the answer to that, I'm sure others know the answer to that, but why can't she figure it out? You're in this situation because you put yourself there. YOU decided to NOT try to get out of your lease a year ago when he put his hands on you the first time. YOU decided that him talking to you any kind of way was acceptable. YOU decided that you were too old to stay at your parents' house. YOU decided that it wasn't important for you to save money just in case. YOU decided to walk out of your job with shit that you knew wasn't yours. YOU! It's not anyone's fault but yours. That's why this shit keeps happening to you.

Do some shit to correct situations and stop feeling like the world owes your ass something. Keep making bad decisions and you'll forever have bad shit happen. Damn.

Give 2 the Needy? Not me!

Okay, so I have a problem. I don't like dealing with "needy" people. You know, the ones that are always in need? As a matter of damn fact, they bother me beyond words. Why should I put forth my good effort to help a big, lazy, sorry, trifling ass person that doesn't want to help themselves?!?

I just recently received a message from someone who needed help. They were going on a trip and didn't really have much. "Whatever you can bless me with", the message said. My thoughts were....I ain't got shit for ya! If you don't have any money, look to me like your ass don't need to be going on a damn trip! If you don't have a job, don't know how you are going to pay next month's rent, and basically don't have a pot to piss in, why the hell do you think you should get handouts for a trip you can't even afford! Give me a freakin break. I bet you one thing though. You won't get a dime from me!

It Wasn't Me!

I truly hate when I'm somewhere in my own space, minding my own business...and I fart. And instead of me remaining in peace with my own funk, here comes some random person, walking right into my nastiness! Then I have to sit there and look dumbfounded. It wasn't me!

I'm Not Perfect

Okay, so I didn't get the memo. Apparently, all these years I've been bouncin' my happy ass around here thinkin' I'm perfect. Well, guess what? Turns out, I'm not. Atleast that's what I hear. I have yet to actually recollect that point in time that I stated the words "I'm perfect". Maybe it's just that I don't walk around with my flaws airbrushed on my shirt. Or maybe it's because I'm so good at pointing out others' flaws. Yea, that's got to be it. I'm so busy telling other ppl what's wrong with them, I totally overlooked what's wrong with me.......that is so not true. I sure hate I come off that way! Geez!

We Can Try This Again....

Once again, I'm trying to do this blog thing.....it never seems to work out for one reason or another. So, this time maybe, just maybe I can use this freakin blog as an outlet. We'll see.