Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Posted by Misunderstood at 8:15 PM
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I have them. I don't want to find myself thirty something, fucked up, and with no direction. And honestly, the likelihood of that happening is pretty much nonexistent. I like to do short and longterm goals....
I have figured out that with the help of my brain..and a calculator, I can be almost debt free in the next 14 months. And that's atleast 10k in debt I'm looking to pay off. I just recently applied for a part time job in order to speed up the process.
So that's goal number 1: Pay off my debt, with the exception of the townhouse.
Goal #2: Save 15-20k over the 2 years following my debt payoff.
And shit, if I can save that much money, I'm sure I won't stop. I have to make sure I have money in my pocket, money in my bank acct., and money in my baby's bank acct. Not to mention I plan on sending the little one to private school. That shit is high. But I'm preparing for it.....I can't wait!
Posted by Misunderstood at 8:33 PM
A lady saw that I was wearing a wedding ring last week and asked "Is it all it's cracked up to be?". Another lady, maybe a day later asked me if I was enjoying the married life. After I told her it was fine, she looked at me in shock and said "Really?!". WTF?!
Who are the people "cracking marriage up to be something"? I think that's the problem a lot of ppl have. They seem to think that once you get married, every problem you ever had disappears. That's not true. I don' t understand that thought process. I didn't have any miraculous expectations when I got married. I don't believe in fairytale shit. I believe that people are people and none of us are perfect. I didn't expect my "frog" to turn into some "prince" after the exchange of vows. I understood that if he was a frog before the wedding, he'll be a frog afterwards. Although I wouldn't actually compare my hubby to a frog, I'm just saying. The imperfections that my hubby had prior to the wedding only shined more after the wedding. As I'm sure mine are shining bright as I type. He's known I wasn't domestic since about the first week or so after meeting me. Now he really notices that shit. So. Oh well. I am who I am....as he is who he is.
Honestly, as far as expectations go, I only had a few going into this. And I feel like the same things were expected of me. When you're not married and you have friends that are, you probably see a lot of issues and drama in the marriages. And chances are those couples were having issues before they got married. Looking at other people's situations, I can see how being married could look like a bad thing to some. Especially if you have a lot of friends that have been married and are now divorced. But you can't base your decision to marry on other people's relationships. You have to know who it is you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with. YOU do. And you can't make that decision looking at the next person. If you don't expect your frog to turn into a prince after you say "I do", then you should be fine. If your frog was already a prince when you met him, then I would imagine that he would remain a prince. Although you do have those instances where people go backwards....
I don't know.....I just wish people would be real. Like really real. Shit don't change. If it's good, it should only get better. If it's bad, it will definitely get worse.....let's be real ppl.
Posted by Misunderstood at 7:56 PM
was just not my thing. It's funny because it is indeed true that once you have a "husband" of your own, it's a whole different ball game....
This subject comes up again tonight because there is a young lady that I know who is okay with her position in second place. She's been with this guy, on and off, for about 4 years. He has been with his girl (who is possibly his wife indeed) for well over a decade. I think at one point in their "relationship", she felt bad, but now, not so much.
I had a conversation with her not long ago about this situation. And keep in mind, it was a very brief conversation. But she was out one day, and ended up in the same place as her guy's girl. As a matter of fact, she's bumped into this young lady on several occasions. Now, you would think that anyone with a heart, or even half a conscience, would feel bad...you know, somewhat remorseful about looking into a woman's face, knowing good and hell well they are sleeping with that person's significant other....but, no. Not her. She said she didn't feel bad. Instead of looking at this chick and being convicted, she looked at her, and started to size her up. Now this is one thing I don't understand about "the woman on the side". These pitiful ass women will size up the main girl, compare, contrast....all that shit, as if it matters. The bottom line of the whole situation is they are sleeping with a dude that probably has no intentions of leaving his girl for them. Who gives a fuck if your body is better, her ass is flat, she works at fucking McDonalds? Who cares?! The dude is okay with all the flaws that you bitches point out. So stop it. Just stop!
Excuse me, I had a moment. Anyway, this broad had the nerve to tell me that this guy is not allowed to be with anyone except her and his girlfriend. Seriously? Wow. I just don't see how someone can be happy in that position. And it's crazy because I just found out a little earlier that the "main girl" hired a private investigator months ago to follow her no good ass man. Not only that, but she has all the evidence and shit she needs to fuck the other chick up. Which she's already begun to do. First on her list of things to do, call this chick's "boyfriend" to tell him to tell his girl to stop calling her "husband". She says they've been married for 3 years....ol' girl wasn't aware of a wedding taking place during her years of being 2nd place....I would imagine that a wedding pretty much disqualifies her.....
Fuck it. I'm rambling....I think I got my point across though. Lol.
Posted by Misunderstood at 12:08 AM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
as I type, I think the hardest thing for me is to be quiet. I don't know why folks are testing me, but for some reason it's getting it hard. Bite my tongue? Shit, the muthafucka is almost gone. I don't know what I'm going to do when there's no more tongue left to bite. I'm scared I'm going to resort to biting somebody. And it will probably be the person who's pissing me off. For real.
Posted by Misunderstood at 2:40 PM
not B. Scott, but the other dude, Marcus Patrick.....
Okay, I find B. Scott to be a "pretty" boy. And I could see how sometimes he could fool a man, but.....this Marcus dude is aware that B. Scott has peen and balls. Now I thought for sure that it was said that Marcus Patrick was a heterosexual. Not that it matters to me that much, but....after seeing him and B. Scott dance on each other seductively as they did, I'm pretty sure there are more than "heterosexual" bones in Marcus's body....
I don't know any straight men that would interact with a gay man in this way. But then again, I don't know every straight man in the world either.....
Whatever. My gaydar screeched so loud when I saw Marcus in this video that it made my head hurt.
Posted by Misunderstood at 9:04 AM
I just feel strange right now. Maybe it's because it's gloomy outside. Or maybe it's because I'm sitting at my desk listening to music that has my mind racing ninety to nothing.....
I don't know.....
On another note, Brandy's cd is jammin. Why are ppl sleeping on this? I can't even pick a true favorite b/c so many of these songs are hott!! I think the one I repeat the most is Piano Man....it's the hotness!
Posted by Misunderstood at 8:49 AM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Remember that old saying "follow your heart"? Well, don't.
That's bullshit. Following your heart will have you doing some crazy shit. Your heart doesn't have a brain, which means if you're following your heart, you're doing so without logic. No rationale.
How many women have stayed in abusive relationships because they were following their dumb ass heart. Or stayed with cheating boyfriends? Again. Following the heart.
Leave that emotional shit out of decisions. That would be my advice to anyone. Following your heart will have you okay with being a side piece of ass...ah hem....
It's never okay to follow your heart. Never. You'll end up fucked up everytime. Now a combination of heart and mind, with mind leading first? Perfectly fine. It's that heart solo that will get you every time.
Posted by Misunderstood at 10:10 PM
do my opinions become judgement? I'd like to consider myself a nonjudgemental person, but I do believe there's a fine line. Let me check out the free dictionary's definitions....
Okay, so turns out they are pretty much one in the same, with an opinion lacking proof. So maybe I am judgemental after all. But does that mean I'm not allowed to have an opinion about something? That's bullshit.
I understand that ppl are different. We don't all walk the same walk. Now if I tell somebody they need to walk like me because they are walking wrong, then I consider that being judgemental. However, if I just don't like the way someone walks, then I just don't like it. My opinion.
Anywhoo. I don't know...........
Posted by Misunderstood at 9:38 PM
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I'm nosey. Naturally. I can't help it. Even when I know things aren't my business, sometimes I just feel like I have to know.
For the past several years, I've had my suspicions about you and your "best friend". I've watched you guys interact, and that shit just looks flirty to me. I've never seen real men behave the way you all do. Yea, I know you got "hos" all over the place, but that doesn't change my thought process.
Y'all roommies and shit? Yea, I'm sure that's all it is. Lol. Even Ray damn Charles can see that y'all are a couple. And what do you do to confirm my suspicions? You put some bullshit on your facebook about you being in an open relationship with this dude? Men don't play like that. Are you trying to ease your way out of the closet?
I honestly don't care what your preference is. I'll love you regardless, but. Yes, there's a "but". I think it would be much better for the ladies in your life to know the ways you swing. If you'd just be honest, you may be surprised at the ones that won't stop fucking with you. Sometimes ppl just need to know.
They have a right to know if you shit packing on the side. It's not fair for you to put them in that situation without giving them an option. You need to be honest with yourself. And quit thinking you're fooling ppl. The whole damn family knows your ass is funny. You seem to be the only one that doesn't. It's okay. Come out. We're going to love you regardless.
Posted by Misunderstood at 8:56 AM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
It's me again girl. How's it going?!? Well, you know what today is right? It's Tuesday. I just saw you on television promoting your new book. Ah hem...can't wait to read it Neffe. Can't wait.
I don't even have the energy to question you or Frankie with your get rich quick schemes. You looked cute Neffe. I still can't for the life of me figure out what's going on with your lip. Even shiny and glossed up, that one side still hung lower. Such as life huh?
I know your sister's cd was released today. I meant to go to Best Buy and get it, but I didn't have a chance to. I'm sure it's nice. Despite what you think, I'm a fan (of hers, not yours...or Frankie's). But there is still a small part of me that's hesitant in purchasing the cd because I'm afraid that you're going to make a surprise appearance. I'm not ready for that. Sorry. I'm just not.
Oh, and I see you have a new boyfriend. Soullow? Now what the hell does he do? I'm sure he's plotting his "make money from being associated with someone who's associated with Ms. Cole" scheme as we speak....nonetheless, I'm happy for you. And I hope someone buys your book dear.
Posted by Misunderstood at 9:58 PM
Monday, December 15, 2008
How's it going chick!? Well, you know anytime I feel the need to "put it on paper", it's serious. Not to mention I promised myself that I wouldn't dare waste another ounce of breath talking to you about the matter.
Anywhoo, Christmas is coming up and I'm sure you plan on attending the family dinner. My main question to you is are you planning on pulling the same stunt on Christmas as you did on Thanksgiving. And just in case you want to play dumb, I'm talking about showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with Ike. Oh, and the new baby.
Now Tina, I want to rewind about 13 months. Thanksgiving 2007, you came to the dinner with a really nice black eye, a bruised ego, and a sad soul. Member? I do. You called the family up crying and shit because Ike and punched you in the damn eye. Member girl? You talked all that shit and even moved out for a couple of months. Now make me understand how just a year later, you're back with Ike and are attempting to take care of your 3rd child, who happens to be Ike's.
I know you know this already, but I'm going to mention it again. You can't get ppl all up in your business, telling them all the horrible things that go on in your house behind closed doors, and expect us to welcome the "culprit" in with open arms. That's your boo. Not ours. I personally don't have any love for Ike's cowardly ass. And I'm about to drop you too.
Do not, I repeat do NOT show up at the Christmas dinner expecting a welcoming committee. Ike is NOT a welcomed guest. We'll take you and the children in. And the only reason you get to come is because you're their mommy. Otherwise, we'd leave you and Ike outside to woop each other's ass. If it were totally up to me I'd probably just tell you all to stay where you are. My damn mouth almost hit the ground when you brought that bastard in the house last month like we were supposed to be happy to see y'all. You better be glad I'm good at suppressing my feelings. Especially when ultimately it has nothing to do with me.
And about your gift this year, we're thinking about getting you a mouthpiece to have handy just in case Ike misses your eye next time he beats your ass. Oh, and condoms. Not even 25 yet with 3 kids and no birth control. Oh yea, you'll have condoms in your goody bag as well.
Posted by Misunderstood at 8:49 PM
Friday, December 12, 2008
how folks get excited about another muthafucka's come up. I've literally seen/heard people plan their futures around some shit somebody else has going on. It's mind blowing. I mean, talking about quitting jobs, and flying out, and dream cars and shit. Off somebody else's shit. You serious?
Regardless of what's going on in this house, I don't want NOBODY counting my dollars and planning ways to spend them. Not cool. I wouldn't give anyone a free ride around here. Not even the child. Everybody gotta work for they shit. You want something out of it, you damn well had better put something in.
I've heard/seen people drawing up blueprints to their house they are going to build once so and so get out the hood, pick out diamonds and pearls and shit, question whether or not they can claim their -potential soon to be rich child that's actually an adult- on their taxes. All kind of crazy shit.
I can strike oil tomorrow and there would be NO handouts. And you damn sure would have to be doing something for yourself already. I wish a nigga would quit their job with the assumption that they will freeload off of me. A lie. And I don't care who it is. My own mama wouldn't quit her job. And yours wouldn't either by the way. Lol. But seriously, what is up with that? I hear about it too much.
I remember my friend getting excited when I was about to finish college and get a job. I was like, WTF you excited for? Yo ass better finish somebody's college and get your own job. I do NOT, absolutely DO NOT help those that aren't doing shit but waitin on me. It can't happen. It won't. My best and greatest advice to you, not you, but you, with your mooching ass, is DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT quit your job. You won't get a new car, nor will you all of a sudden "ball" outta control. Not on my dollar. We in a recession too? Bitch please.
Posted by Misunderstood at 11:58 PM
Not really, but because I've only had one heartbreak, I kinda do. Anytime I'm for real grooving, if it's some sappy heartbreak shit, my mind only takes me to one place. How the hell can I stop that from happening?
I fucking hate the fact that for a period in my life, which by the way, happens to have been an era of classics (i.e. Enter the Dru, Writings On the Wall, Songs in A Minor, and so many others), I was only with one person. This means that the majority of the time, when one of my old jams comes on, it always goes back to a fucking memory that I'd like to forget. What the hell?!? I don't want to remember that shit. That' s so messed up.
Do you know how many hits were out between the late 90s to early 2000s? Well, there were a ton. I don't want amnesia, but I do wish I had other memories. And it's messed up that so much of my time was centered around certain shit. I couldn't alter it if I wanted to. Well, while I'm at it, let me see if I can find a couple of my favorite songs from that time period. Fuck it.
Posted by Misunderstood at 11:26 PM
with your ex...lol. Because I muthafuckin said so. I can't stand when muthafuckas do shit they know they wouldn't want your ass to do. Well....this shit isn't recent, but since I'm on a "blog" roll, I figured why not.
I'm a firm believer of this: If it's good for you, then dammit, it's good for me. If you don't want me to pull out my roll-a-dicks, I mean rolodex, then I suggest you handle that shit. Give a nigga an inch, and they always want to take a damn mile or two.
I could give a shit if y'all were fucking friends on your dates of birth, in the same hospital, on the same wing. I don't care. We aren't playing that shit. I'm not. Which, in turn means you're not either. Ha. How you like them damn apples? I know. Get used to them. They're Granny's grandaughter, Wifey Smith. LMAO. No, seriously though...not happening. If you shared something special with ol' girl, like maybe a kid. Yea, okay. Understandable. But last I checked, you have no common denominators.
Let it go.....or me......ha!!
Posted by Misunderstood at 11:16 PM
sometimes have the tendency to act like getting married solved all of their damn relationship woes. That's bullshit. I hate to hear married folks trying to encourage single folks to get married, as if that's the damn solution to it all. It's not. I am an advocate for marriage, but only when ppl feel like they are ready. Not because someone has turned 33 years old and they need to hurry up an marry somebody. Or because they want papers on somebody...
The thing about marriage is no one can tell you how it will be. Although couples may have similar issues at one point or another, ppl are still different. Yea, I heard ppl say "it's work". But the thing is, so many different issues will arise between wedding day and death do you part, that you can't possibly go over all of them.
Nothing is hard when things are going good. That's not just with marriage, but with any relationship. It becomes a challenge when your significant other is on your nerves like a damn itch in the crack of your ass that you can't get to because you're walking through the mall on a Saturday afternoon. You know, the time when you could take something and beat someone into having sense. Rest assured there will be days like that. Then there will be the good days.
I mean, who can actually fathom being with the same person day after day after damn day. Well, that's what you sign up for. And we know many ppl don't honor their "contracts" with one another. You seen the divorce rates lately? Back in the day, the women didn't believe in leaving their husbands. Ass whoopins, outside kids, out all night....sheeeiiitttt.....those women were down. Not today. Look at me crazy and I'm divorcing your ass. Not me for real, but.....
And I think it's even harder for those who are serious about honoring vows and actually being committed to them. I say that because it's easy to go find a lawyer and file for divorce. What's hard is staying married to a man that got another woman pregnant, or staying with someone that has a drinking problem.
And we don't know people like we think we do. I don't give a shit what anybody says. People change. And it's not always for the better. You have to be willing to be there. Change and all. That shit is deep. I've not been married as long as a lot of people, but I have made it farther than a lot of ppl I know. Doesn't mean anything. Some people just can't handle shit. And honestly, if shit were to become that much of a challenge, I may not be able to hang either. Who knows.
Just rambling here.......married people, stop trying to push your shit on other ppl. Let folks get married when they feel it's time for them to. And quit acting like your shit is free of funk. It's not cute. I have a great idea. Married or not. How about you just keep your relationship ups and downs to yourself. Because here's the thing. If you always talk about how good it is, people like me will say "Bitch, you know damn well you just caught that nigga cheating." and if you always talk about how bad it is, people like me will say "Why the hell you still with his trifling ass?". Lol. So either way, hush.
Posted by Misunderstood at 1:25 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wanna know what's really hard? Being born with one brain, but having to think for 2 people. That shit is unreal. In the past 2 weeks alone, I have had to use my brain to think for atleast 4 people. And it's rough when that shit never stops. Anybody have any suggestions on what I can do to make the process easier?
Posted by Misunderstood at 1:27 AM
Didn't I say I was going to bed? I am. I just saw a special Infiniti is doing. No interest rates...blah, blah, blah. I want a new car so bad! I have to keep telling myself "No debt, no debt".....
Cause I sure as hell don' t have 35k in cash to buy a car....now I'm for real about to go to bed.
Posted by Misunderstood at 1:25 AM
I've grown up. Reading a day in the life of the "20 year old" me is almost depressing....sheesh.
There I was, crazy in love with a fella, who clearly loved me when he felt like it. That's funny. One day I'd be confused, the next in love. And why didn't everything register in my little ol' brain. I mean, seriously. I consider myself to be somewhat smart.....so why didn't I get it? Why didn't I figure out that he was truly a man whore? Or that the reason he loved "receiving" head so much was probably b/c he used his vivid imagination to make me a dude while I was giving it to him? I guess him actually eating pussy and fucking a pussy would remind him of the double life he was living? Lol. I don't have any true confirmation that my ex is DL, but fuck that. My gut instinct is enough. No, I never caught him in bed with a man, but shit he did was suspect enough.....
I mentioned a "friend" by the name of "K" in the entry. The fact that she got the abortion wasn't even the biggest thing. It was the reason she did it. Not to mention she was pregnant again less than a year later. Hell, I'm thinking she could have kept the first child. Atleast she was pregnant by someone who would have been capable of providing for the child better than her second chosen baby's daddy. That's neither here nor there......
I'm rambling....and I should go to bed now. Or atleast read another chapter of this bomb ass book. Mary B. Morrison is the shit!!! I love her!!! Not many authors make me excited to see a new book on the shelf when I'm perusing the book aisle in Walmart.......
Later tater! Lol!
Posted by Misunderstood at 1:10 AM
*I was looking back in my journal and found that I'd posted an entry on Dec. 11, 2001*
Been a while...Although I had a good feeling about this semester, I don't think my grades are actually going to reflect the reason I was feeling so good. I found that I'm still lazy and I haven't yet figured out that if I don't study, I won't excel. Boy, I can be a real idiot sometimes. I gotta do better next semester.
Well, football season is over! It was actually over when ______ lost a bunch of games (consecutively). _____got a contact for his left eye midway through the season, which helped him tremendously. He ended the season leading the team in TDs and receptions. They finally started _______@ the "bowl" game and I have a pretty good feeling about next year. I had a good feeling about this year, BUT it didn't work the way [any of us] planned. *subject change*
"K" found out she was pregnant and got an abortion. What a wimp. I don't talk to her much anymore. Probably like 3x a week (for a minute).
Back to ______....we celebrated our 3 year anniversary back in October and I must say this season wasn't as bad as I expected. We still hung out and remained close. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. Saturday night we went out, after being together the whole day, and had one of our little moments. Well, how come that nigga wants to confess some ill stuff to me. Made my stomach turn. But I wanted to know and I dealt with it. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. Then he had the audacity to get mad at me because I called Ken...okay, whatever. Then he pissed me off again because Sunday night we were in the room and my good boyfriend loves to receive, but he's not good at giving yet. He really pisses me off sometimes. I'm really going to have to pray for strength and patience. I just really don't know about us sometimes. Guess time will tell. I do love him though... I don't know!! I'm just kinda confused right now....NEVER put your trust in a nigga! NEVER!!
Posted by Misunderstood at 12:51 AM
is so therapeutic to me. I used to write in a journal, but these days I can hardly find the time. Just like now, I should be in bed getting every ounce of sleep I can, but I felt the need to blog.....and don't have shit to blog about.....
I could always do my open letter to the "Keyshia Cole" clan, but I'm not in the mood.....
Posted by Misunderstood at 12:46 AM
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I tried to make my blog jiggy, but.....I'm not feeling the way these blogs are posting. I think I'm going back to the regular background now...
Posted by Misunderstood at 11:08 PM
you, Elite, and your mom Yaya are next on my list. Be glad I'm sleepy as hell.
Posted by Misunderstood at 11:07 PM
Posted by Misunderstood at 10:24 PM
Posted by Misunderstood at 10:22 PM
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
How's it going? I'm going to try to make this note short, sweet, and to the point. First, I want to say that I'm glad you were able to escape the walls of jail and go straight into the arms of your celebrity daughter, Keyshia. I think that's awesome. I truly hope that one day you will decide to stop hanging out at clubs and doing "shows" in an effort to capitalize off your daughter's success. Get a job. A real one. Debuting alongside Keyshia on her reality television show is hardly enough to call a career....
Posted by Misunderstood at 10:14 PM