Saturday, January 31, 2009

Greener Grass

Smokie, let me see if I can somewhat answer your question.

A few times during me and the hub's "dating" stage, I left him alone because I thought the grass was greener on the other side....well, not so much. I always kept my options open because I wasn't ready to settle down. I was still in school and had not too long before gotten out of serious relationship.

When I say we were on and off, we really were on and off. When something appeared "greener", I checked on it. I can recall atleast 3 times that I did this to him....I know it wasn't nice, but I was as honest as I could be with him about the way I felt.

I know the grass is not greener on the other side, per se. I realized this with "Casper" and also with the Grampa. There were things that my husband did that no one had ever done for me. Mainly putting me first. I thought that was kinda cool. There was never a night that passed that he didn't make sure I was okay before stopping by. Full of affection...I could look in his eyes and see his genuine love for me.....that was pretty awesome.....

Those were the kinds of things that made me never want to let him go......well, somehow things have changed. Now let me say this....he hasn't really just flipped the script on me, it's just obvious that his feelings have changed. The look in his eyes that I've been seeing remind me more of dislike and less love. Maybe the past few days, he's been trying to get it back, but it's definitely not the same......

1 comments:

D C Cain said...

Hmmmm... since this is the comment section, I'll just feel free to comment, Sista (white lady at work calls me that and I oddly LOVE it, but I digress).

You know what I think? You married too young. Damn. If I would have married my son's father in my 20s, I would went through just what you're going through.

I'll cut to the chase: If he's cheated before, then you can walk free and clear and start all over. If you don't know if he's cheated, look for something. They say, "If you go looking for something you'll find something"....

I really really don't advocate divorce, but I'm feeling where you are with this... and save for a Miracle (which He CAN do), it seems like a lost cause.

~sigh~

I'm still rooting for it though. God, show us what you can do! :-)