Facing The Truth

Lucky for me, this is one truth that I don't have to face anymore...as a matter of fact, there was never a point where I really had to face it....

I have made reference to my ex a couple of times in this blog, and well, here I go again....this blog entry comes after an interesting "I'm pretty sure he's DL" conversation I had with a couple of friends/coworkers....

My ex boyfriend and I "talked" for almost a year before we made it official. It was back in ninety something ('97 I think). We were cool. Something like friends. I gotta give dude a nickname...James. Yea, James will do. Okay, so James played football. As a matter of fact, he was a star athlete (football and basketball). During our 11 month "friendship", I remember him telling me that there was a "gay dude" at school lying on all the football players, saying he'd given the popular ones head, James included. So he (pretended) to be livid about the rumor that was going around.....then some time later, I don't remember how much time had passed, but I remember he and I used to talk on the phone everyday after school. Anyway, I remember his doorbell ringing, and he said "Man, this gay dude at my door. Let me call you back." Now, let me say this, I didn't care much for James at the time. We were cool, but I didn't like him b/c he was way too arrogant. I remember telling my friend that I thought he was gay b/c of the incident with the gay dude at his door.......

Fast forward several months.......I don't know what made that whole gay scenario disappear from my right mind. I have no clue why the fall of the following year I decided to let James be my boyfriend.......

I know I'm not going to be able to post all of this story in one setting so I'll just have to break it up into parts.....

The first thing that made me give James the side eye after we were official was the fact that there was a strange guy that he hung out with sometimes. This guy, we'll call him Rob. Okay, Rob was a family friend. He was also their church member. Rob was the guy that was clearly gay (as far as I was concerned), but no one ever talked about it. It was really weird. Like no one said a thing. He was just Rob. Rob, James, and maybe 2 or 3 other strange guys would hang out, and they had these inside jokes that made me feel really uncomfortable. James even went through a "tennis playing" phase. He and Rob played tennis a few nights a week the summer before we went off to college. Now James was athletic, so I didn't really question why he just up and wanted to play tennis on a random day......

*Sidenote, I don't know what I was (not) thinking, in case you're wondering.....

Oh yea, there's something else. James told me that he and Rob were on their way back home and Rob told him that he'd had a dream he gave James head. Now what man tells another man that he had a dream of slobbing them down? None that I know either. Not a straight man anyway. As a matter of fact, I don't know any gay men that would tell a straight man that......

To be cont....