I'm Not In Jail

although I could have very well been there a few days ago. The past couple of days have been okay. I'm calm now. I'm not picking up furniture and threatening to haul it across the room at the hubby's head. The only thing I'm battling at the moment is keeping this cold at bay.

I'm almost over this now....not in a "I forgive him, let's move on with life" kinda way, just a "I'm too blessed to be stressed" type of way. Lol. Let's go back a few days or so...

So, Monday, when I got home, all of his stuff was out like I demanded. All he really had to get were clothes. I would have double dog dared him to remove any type of furniture out of this place. It was rough though. I can't lie. It was mad akward Tuesday morning when he showed up to take the angel to her MiMi's....

Since then, we have been talking about where this thing is headed. As if it's not a given. Why does it take someone getting caught up for them to put on their "happy" face. Don't put your best foot forward now. You should have been doing that a little while ago. Yep, now I see that look of genuine love in his eyes when he looks at me. I'm sure. It didn't feel so hot sleeping on a random piece of furniture Monday night, huh? Yea, I have let him crash at the house since then because I felt sorry for him. And yea, I know, he didn't feel sorry for me when he was being untrustworthy......so these sleeping arrangements don't change anything.

It's my goal that he and I can come to a really great understanding, then we can let it go. If we can get over this hump, I think it will be better for us as parents for little mama. I don't wish to hate my child's father. As a matter of fact, I would love to have a great deal of love and respect for him. Obviously that won't happen with Monday's turn of events playing in my head. So yea, we have to get over that.

It's funny because I'm really not mad anymore. Yea, it happened AND it sucks! But, just like a week or two ago, I was begging for something to happen so I would know what it is I should be doing. I wanted the crap to "hit the fan". It did. Can we move on to the next chapter now please?