Thursday, February 26, 2009

1st of the Month


Well, I know I've been MIA. Not because I want to be, but because I've been sleeping. No, not the depressed sleep, the "working too much" sleep.
Just wanted to give a little "life" update. My husband and I have been having a blast. We're not really talking about reconciliation. Speaking for myself only, my goal was to get to a point of being cordial to him. I've never wanted to be the "crazy baby mama", so I figured we may as well still be able to be civil, or even nice to each other. The bad part about this is being nice can be confused with "I want to be with you". Depending on who's involved.
Fortunately, I'm the one that can separate reality from the false hope. Him, not so much. I've been much better. I'm not really harboring hateful feelings. Even though, yes, I admit that if I think about things for too long, I get angry for like 7 seconds.
I still haven't made any kind of announcement to the family yet. I would prefer to announce this like I announced my pregnancy. Kind of out of the blue and not very believable. We'll see. I'm trying to get my little cousin to help me come up with the speech. And good Lord, I don't want to hear what my grandma is going to have to say about this. I just have to make sure I don't paint him out to be some monster. I don't want my relatives giving him the "stink" face when he comes around.
He says he's going to move out on the 1st. Don't ask me why. I have NO clue. And actually, I did let him come back. Because I felt sorry for him, you know, putting him out abruptly with nowhere to go. He hasn't moved his clothes back in, which is okay. Him staying is only supposed to be temporary anyway. And I haven't been pressuring him to leave. It's his choice to leave on the first. So his mind isn't clouded with thoughts of whether we'll get back together or not. *you would think I've been speaking Japanese or something* Now whether he's going to be out in a couple of days or not is the BIG question. We'll see.....

3 comments:

Jia said...

Dang...I feel like I'm watching a bad movie in real time. I hate that it has to be this way for the both of you but you do have to do what's best. I love the fact that you WANT to be civil, especially for the sake of the baby. I admire/respect you for that.

Saved Girl said...

he seemed to have pulled himself up by his bootstraps very quickly....maybe thats a good thing, so you both can move on with your lives and remain civil for your child.

Justa NaughtyChic said...

I wish the best for you in finding a balance. It's great you can remain civil, it will help the baby tremendously as well as all other parties involved.