"A lot of marriages with that 'staying power' can boast 30+ years of marriage, etc....but at what cost." - Saved Girl
OMG!!!! That is sooooooooooooo true. Like, really. My grandparents were married well over 5o years. 12 kids, 11 together, 1 outside kid (per grandmother), atleast 2 outside kids (per granddad), many nights of my grandfather being "out in the street" doing his thing, grandma trying to prove that she's still "got it" with the other man.....the list goes on. Staying power. Remember?
I love my mother....to bits and pieces.....but I'm not kidding, she sure knows how to not make sense sometimes. And you wouldn't believe that my mom is a smart woman. Three degrees and all, she says some dumb ish sometimes.
I remember when me and the hub first separated. My mom gave me this long spill about how she stayed with my dad and gave it her all until she couldn't do it anymore. WTH!? I'm sure she couldn't do it. Hell, he had permanently jacked up her finger, blacked her eyes, and there was the mistress my mom almost ended up boxing in the store.
Why on earth would anyone encourage someone to be disrepected until they just can't handle it anymore? Why? I'm so sorry. I'm over it. Yea, I'm not really in the mood for being without "me" after a decade of being dogged out. And I refuse to believe that all those ppl stayed in those marriages strictly b/c of the bible. Yes, I know what the bible says. I know. I get it. However, do I believe that my grandmother would have stayed with my granddad if she were able to support 12 children on her own? If she didn't need him to drive her around? I doubt it. Folks are always quick to talk about the bible being the reason to stay married, but I still feel like people have their own agenda. Maybe not ALL of the people, but I do feel like majority do.
And I'm talking about when it's bad, not when there is a healthy relationship. Whether it's financial reasons, stability reasons, status reasons, the need for a "family" reasons, deep down I don't think the promise to God tops the list of "why they stay".
I know I'm rambling again. And it's clearly my bedtime so I'll just say this. I'd rather be married for 4 good years and divorced, than be married for 40 + years of some good, mostly bad. I just can't.
Going to bed now........
Monday, May 18, 2009
Staying Power Revisited
Posted by Misunderstood at 12:37 AM
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4 comments:
It's for this reason that I'm kinda leary on marriage. Sometimes I feel the title of husband/wife changes folx and the game.
Things have changed a lot since the days of our great-grandparents and grandparents reasons and rationales for getting/staying married, but a large portion of society still believes that divorce is of the devil. I believe that living with the devil is a hell I just couldn't be in.
yeah, when its bad you simply have to chuck up the deuces...plain and simple. and i feel you on that Bible thing too. a lot of people say that the divorce is of the Devil. i think that is a bit of an exaggeration. Yes, Jesus does frown upon it, but Jesus also said divorce was appropriate when adultery and abadonement come into play. IMO, that doesn't mean you have to run the second one occurs, b/c I know a lot of marriages that have survived adultery and someone leaving them temporarily....has really become great testimonies. Ultimately, its a case by case basis...different measures are needed for different situations. I think anything is saveable when someone has a TRUE REPENTANT heart. For instance, I know my husband is sorry and wants me back, but once we get back together, he is up to his old antics b/c he has not had an inward heart/spirit change...the change is only temporary, so I will not get back with him. marriages & relationships are the most amazing dynamic on Earth to me...I hate to love them....or do I love to hate them?, LOL.
I feel you girl. And heck, if they're using the bible as a guide, the bible says that you're FREE to go after adultery.
The figuring out a man thing, I think all women will be taking that one to the grave. The funny part is that they think they are so not complicated. Whaaat?
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