Hot Potato

I wanted to drop her like one. A hot potato. HAHAHAHA!!! I'm serious though. I have a friend. And I use this term lightly, but we've been "friends" since 7th grade. Not on purpose, mind you. As a matter of fact, she didn't even like me at first. And I didn't do a damn thing to her ass.

Anyway, we never hung out with the same people. Ever. And honestly, we don't have a ton of stuff in common. Of course we probably could have had similar experiences at some point in time, but what teenagers don't? Doesn't mean we are one in the same.

Anyway, up to the point of why I'm just about sick of her and her attitude...about 6 months ago, I took a trip with one of my besties. This wench got mad and threw a fit, telling me how I never invite her to go anywhere....uh...oh-kay....so I'm planning a trip soon, with the same friend. I called my "friend" to see how she was doing, and this bitch has a 'tude (AGAIN) about the trip. Telling me how I never invite her to go anywhere....um...yea, I want your "Debbie downer" ass traveling cross country with me....NOT!!! Is she crazy!!??! Gotta be.

So after that last phone conversation, I decided that I was done. I don't have time for the drama every single time I talk to her. Questioning why she wasn't invited some damn where. And then she's the one that never has any money anyway. Hell NO!! Not coming. Not allowed. Not invited. Period. Well, I have you know this broad called me a couple of days ago acting like she had some sense. I don't care. I'm still not calling her anymore. If she wants to talk to me, she's going to have to call me. I'm sick of it.....

My Fake Relationship

Who ever heard of such? I hadn't. Not before I made it up. So basically, my fake relationship involves me and my "friend" that I fell in love with almost a year ago. This is the dumbest shit EVAR, I know this. Basically, what we are doing is keeping each other from moving on, but also not saying we are in a relationship. Stupid shit. Dumb shit. I seriously know this. The good/bad news is he's moving thousands of miles away in a couple of weeks. Sucks for me because I'm gonna miss him. However, maybe once he is gone, I'll be able to move on. And so will he. I type that shit with ease as if I'm ready for either one of us to move on. I'm not kidding this shit is dumb. As a matter of fact, it's so dumb, none of my friends really know the extent that we hang out or talk. Or text. I've seen this kind of thing before. Just probably not in MY very own personal life. I'm gonna miss him when he leaves. For sure. I don't think I've ever had this hard of a time moving on after a relationship. I know why it's different though. It's because of the relationship we had prior to our dating relationship. What further complicates things is the fact that we had the dating relationship. Because we obviously got much closer during the past year, which further jacks up the dynamics of our already close relationship.

He and I were the kind of friends that could go months without talking, but pick up where we left off without missing a beat. He was one of the few guys that I could call a friend, and know that he would always be respectful, regardless of any inappropriate thought he may or may not have had prior to us taking the next step in our friendship deal. Did we "date" when we were 12? Yea. Do I consider that some serious relationship of my past? No. Did I kiss him and touch his peen on the back of the bus on the way home from New Orleans? Yep. No regrets either. How about that! Lol. Even with the kiss and the rubbing of the penis, we grew older, remained friends, and were able to keep it friendly after that.....and then there was 2010.....

So I said all of that to say I have absolutely no idea how to come back from what we have developed over the past year. NO idea. At all. Not without the friendship being tainted. But maybe it's already tainted. I don't know. I just know that I never wanted to ruin what we had pre 2010. I'm preparing myself for the day of new relationships and fewer calls and texts. That's gonna be rough. I already know it. Or maybe it won't be. Maybe I'll become engulfed in schoolwork and not give two shits about what or who he's doing. We'll see.....

At least for the next 2 weeks I have a fake boyfriend. Whatever. We'll see.

What's That Ya Say?

The grass wasn't so green on the other side? Well duh. I could have told him it wouldn't be. And as in "he", I mean my child's dad. I know I've mentioned the fact that he's been hinting around at trying to get back with me. Apparently that PYT he was chasing last year isn't all he cracked her up to be. Worse off than him I hear. Which sucks. I know her car got repo'd, she's not working, and according to him, her folks are crazy. Bwwwwaaaaaaahhhhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

It's not funny. Well, it is. But it's not nice of me to laugh. So I just had to have a twenty something minute long conversation with this fool about why he and I would never work. I have to go through the whole spiel about him missing me and changing and shit. Well, what the hell ever, I'm not hearing it. I find it so hilarious that people forget the way they once felt, as if they will never feel that way again, or as if the way they felt had nothing to do with other issues. I tried my best to explain to this clown that our issues went way deeper than him not having a real job. He agreed a couple of years ago, now he acts as if he is somebody totally different. Truth be told, if he and I had had a more solid friendship within our relationship, we probably would have survived that storm. But for me, I was thinking, "dude, you can't possibly have this many negatives and be tripping. And damn sure not trying to cheat! GTFOH!" When I'm a ride or die chick for my guy, I'm really ride or die. The first fool that I fell in love with could have probably gotten away with working the front counter and Burger King, and it wouldn't have mattered. I would have let him use the car to work the late shift. I would have texted him and told him to bring me a whopper with cheese home. That kind of shit. I would have loved his dirty draws. Seriously. I never had that kind of love for the baby's dad. Never. So...sorry.

What can I say? If it's the not there, it's just not. Nothing I can do to change that. Nothing he can do either. It's just one of those things. Too bad, so sad. Anyway, I hope he finds another chick to take his mind off the possibility of us ever getting back together. And soon. Trying to explain shit to him that I've already explained is almost draining. What a marriage that would have been, had it lasted longer than 1.9 years. Ha!! Thank the Lawd for deliverance!