My Baggage

Okay, it's been a minute and I figured a little update wouldn't hurt...so here goes....

Well, my guy and I have been great thus far. As all relationships start off. We've had too many dates to count, and my child appears to be crazy about him. He's my equal. I think. Well, kind of. He's more of a "by the book" person. I'm more of a "whatever is convenient" person ...depending on what it is. I find his need to do things the correct way cute. He finds my need to teeter the edge equally amusing. I think. Lol...

So here lies the problem. Well, actually it's not a problem. Yes it is. Okay...I have trust issues. Big shocker, right?!! Probably not so much. I'm not used to trusting guys. It doesn't suck as much for him because I'm good at keeping my insecurities to myself. Just waiting on the second I can tell myself I was right not to trust him, but so far, I'm coming up short.

It's NOT normal to sniff through people's things. NOT normal, I say! The sad part is, I've gotten so used to doing that, it feels weird to NOT do it. WTF!!! Talk about damaged goods. He knows I'm a little damaged, but I'm not sure if he knows the extent. And it's still good for him because I refuse to let my past, good for nothing niccas ruin something for me that could be good. I'll allow it to be as good as it can be. I'll love and like freely, and do my best to act like someone who has some sense. I'll trust him until I have a reason not to. I'll try not to question anything he says if I don't have a reason. And if I think I have a reason, I'll make sure it's a good one.

On a different note, we still haven't had any sex. I will keep in mind that it hasn't even been 2 months yet, but man....this feels like the longest time EVAR!! No kidding, being a mommy sure does change things about the dating scene. "Pre-mommy" me would probably be almost a full fledge resident at his crib right about now. Hardly spending a night at my own place. I like the fact that I can't "play house" with him. It will definitely make things better later....

Well, that's all for now. Probably not, but I had written this blog last night, but lost some of the content b/c my laptop wants to be replaced...if anything else comes to mind, I'll surely write about it.