You know what, it's not even drama. Not really. Only because I won't let there be. I'm sure I mentioned something about this in my last post...okay, maybe not. I just kind of checked....
Okay, I did mention the fact that I have a new guy. The ex is well aware, and now has somewhat started to grind the crap out of my nerves about how much time we are spending together (with our child).....now let me be the first to say, there is no way, in a different situation, I would have introduced my child to another guy so soon. Because I have known my guy over half of my life, I was okay with it....that's just me. No worries, there will NOT be a plethora of guys in and out of this house....so now that I've just put that out there, I'll continue...
Before me and the ex's divorce was over, we had brief conversations about dating other people and our child's involvement with whoever we may be seeing. I realize I can't control who my ex dates, nor do I want to. I can't make him mindful of who he has my child around. I can only hope and pray that the mush he has for brains will allow him to think rationally....
So we, and as in "we", I mean my baby, myself, and my guy have been hanging. Movies, dinner, Friday nights in....we've been doing these things. Well, the baby daddy ain't feeling that so much. He wants to know "how is she with him?" and "how much is she around him?". He's not asking because he's worried about her well being, he's asking because he doesn't want another guy around her more than him. Let me go back to the conversation I had with him a while back. Which, by the way, was as effective as any conversation I could have had with a rock. Or pillow cushion....I'm just sayin... But during the convo, I basically told him that it would be up to him to make sure our child keeps him close to her heart. That's not my responsibility. I told him that. Like a billion times. He either ignored me, forgot, or didn't comprehend. I can't help but think it's a combination of those things.
During a regular week, he'll see her Monday-Friday, when he picks her up to take her to the babysitter. That's about a 25 minute ride, depending on traffic. No, I'm not a passenger in the vehicle with them, but I'm pretty sure during those 25 minutes, he's listening to the radio, and NOT talking to her. Unless of course she says something that warrants a response. He'll also get her on Sundays. Now those days, he'll have her all day and sometimes overnight. This is during a "regular" week. Well, it's been a minute since the weeks have been regular. His vehicle was out of commission for several weeks. Like a really long time. So during those weeks, he couldn't come get her. Understandable. However, his phone was not cut off....so I figure he could have called. Very few days, he did. Most, he didn't.
He chose to ask me those dreaded questions again the other night. How much time are we spending with my guy? Really? I haven't figured out yet, what concern that should be of his. This time around, I ask him if he's doing ALL he can do to make sure our child keeps him on her mind vs. someone else. What does he do when I ask that simple question? You guessed it! He gets all defensive and all of a sudden, I'm coming at him "sideways". Lol....Now I'm pretty sure I didn't approach the question in an accusatory manner. I know I didn't. Because I thought it through before I said it, to make sure I didn't. But that's not what he heard. I haven't figured out yet how to communicate with him so that he understands what I'm saying. Maybe I should take it to "the street" with him......maybe he'd understand that better....I'm just sayin....
That particular day, it had been 4 days since he had talked to my angel. FOUR days! He has the number to the babysitter's house. He calls her before he gets to her house when he's dropping the baby off, so I'm positive he has the number. Therefore, he has NO excuse not to at least just talk to her....so because I know the subject is going to come up again, I have to figure out how I'll really get my point across....I've tried to stop cursing, but maybe he understands that better.... Ooooh!!! Nope! I got it! I'll put it in a rap song! BAM!
*off to write my 16 bars*
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Baby Daddy Drama
Posted by Misunderstood at 1:43 AM
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2 comments:
LMAO at you "spitting these bars"
For some odd reason men have that tendancy to need competition to do right. Its sad b/c its their own fault and yet they choose to place the blame elsewhere.
Good Luck with that. Regardless of what and how you say it he will only hear " she got my baby around dat n****"
See, I don't feel right even speaking on this b/c I've never been married nor do I have children but...I'll comment since I'm here and I read it.
I've always said that if by some strange occurrence I were to get pregnant by someone (be it someone that I'm dating, just "friends" with or married to) and had a child, I would definitely NOT want him to have my child around several different women. Now, I'm not asserting that this is what you're doing at all; but I will say that if I was a mother and had a 'father of child,' I would, without question, have reservations about other women being around my baby.
I think that the constant nagging that he's doing sucks but for the most part, I can see his point. Adversely, he can't get mad at what type of time the new guy is spending with the you and the baby if he isn't doing all that he needs to do to spend time. I mean, don't question a G about how many hours in the week you guys are spending with ole buddy but then turn around and not call when your car is out on commission. That is not how it works.
Girl you've gotta keep us updated. I promise to start visiting your blog daily. Pinky swears!
PS: Can I sing the hook on your 16 bars? :)
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