My Life

is just that. It's life. I can't complain, although at times I feel like it. Going through this whole divorce thing hasn't been as bad as I thought. I guess some days are a little worse than others. I think it would be much easier to deal with if me and the "ex" weren't still banging randomly were on the same page...as far as preparing for our lives independently.

I don't think I'll ever understand why people sometimes don't get the urge to get on the good foot until it's basically too late. For months and months prior to our separation, I feel like I tried. No, I didn't give it "my all", but I pretended to tried. And speaking of "giving it your all", why do people advise that? "You fight until you can't fight no more." "Give it all you got before you throw the towel in." What the hell kind of advice is that? What's left for me if I "fight until I can't fight no more"? I'm not Einstein or anything, but that sounds like it would leave me drained and bitter. I would much rather fight right up to the round that borders enemy ground. That way I can say that I gave it all I could before I ended up hating him. Yea, I like that much better.

I'm not sure how much longer until everything is final, but I really can't wait for that phone call. One of my friends suggested that I have a "divorce" party. Sounds like a plan to me. I just don't want the ex to get wind of it and show up shooting and get the wrong idea. I can see how that has the potential to be hurtful. As cold and heartless as he claims I am, he would probably expect it. I tried to explain to him that I care, I just deal with things differently. No since in crying over spilled milk, right? That's what I say. Hell, I cried enough during the marriage. I'm pretty much all cried out. I think. Wait, I did pretend to have a semi breakdown the other day. I do get sad that I pretty much sucked at staying married, despite the mental promise I made to our child. I'm pretty sure she'll wonder how we ended up together in the first place understand when she gets older.

Anywhoo, just had to do a little entry for general purposes. My life is probably about to get interesting though. I'm definitely excited to see who's what's in store!