Relentless

My child's father is forever NEVER giving up. I have no desire to entertain the thought of us getting back together. Aside from the fact that he and I are NOT compatible, he's still broke. And not that money makes a difference, wait. It does. But he and I just wouldn't work. I can't get him to understand that prior to us getting divorced, we were all wrong for each other.

I love the way people create stories in their minds about events that happened. He has totally rearranged his last night as a resident in this house. He specifically told me he didn't see anything wrong with the way he had been handling things, so I specifically told him that us trying to work on the marriage was pointless.

I can't take the madness. Every couple of days, I have to tell him that we aren't going to work. And I'm certain that if his relationship with the new baby's mama were okay, he wouldn't be thinking about any kind of reconciliation with me. He has lost his mind. I sincerely hope he finds it. I have nothing for him. I haven't made it a habit to go back. This works for me. Others, not so much. Lawd I hope he and that girl get it together so he can stop with the wishful thinking. I'm over it.

Marriage Counselor

...it's what I've become. Not intentionally, and probably not because I'm the minority of the group that has been bold enough to actually be unhappy with someone and do something about it...it's probably because people trust me with information. And this is totally appropriate by the way. I can be trusted. This blog is pretty much anonymous, and I NEVER drop names :)

Anywhoo, first things first, someone I consider to be a really good friend has recently found out her husband of several years is cheating. And quite boldly might I add. Now, I immediately say (as if it's not obvious) that I'm not the one to seek for marital advice. This is because mine didn't survive. I wouldn't advise someone to just "get a divorce" because I don't like to see marriages fail. However, I understand. Ideally I would still be married to my child's father and we'd be doing the "happily ever after." Since it didn't work with him in the picture, I'm doing it all by myself. And loving every minute of it. I digress....okay, so yea, I'm not the one to be sought for marital anything. I'm no longer married. I told my friend to stick it out. Do what the Harriet Tubmans of marriage did. Tolerate bullshit. Give the kids a shot at growing up in a 2 parent home. Yada, yada, yada. I meant every word of that by the way.

Second things second, over the weekend, I found myself one of the most uncomfortable situations I've probably been in this year. I agreed to be a part of a wedding to someone I'd consider a friend (from way back), and it was just wrong. All wrong. During that evening and day of horror (read "rehearsal, ceremony, and reception"), I spoke with a girl I am familiar with, but wouldn't say we're friends. Honestly, not even associates. Definitely not enemies though. Basically what I'm trying to say is I went to school with her, but we probably only spoke to each other. Anydamnway, she told me during rehearsal about how horrible her marriage was going right now. She's been married for over 6 years, and she sounded like right now is an incredibly trying time. First of all, I couldn't believe she was telling me her business. Secondly, I didn't realize how cool the girl was. So after speaking with her about her marriage, and giving her the deets on my divorce, we came to no conclusions. I told her the same spiel I told my friend. Hang in there. Tough it out. Yada, yada, yada. And I hope she does.

Maybe the married folks of my generation do give up too quickly. I don't know. What I do know is there is something seriously wrong with society as a whole as far as the marriage bull. If people go into marriage knowing individuals aren't perfect, why is it that we expect them to be perfect? Or is it that we don't want their imperfection to be lying, cheating, and deceiving. I mean, honestly, that's my issue. I'd much rather have my guy's imperfection be something like he snores. Or farts in his sleep or some shit. NOT cheating. I'm not kidding, all of this marriage talk makes me feel like my expectations are all messed up. Why is expecting someone to be faithful unrealistic? I don't get it. Seriously. Anyway, I'm rambling. And I'm sleepy. I'm not proofreading. #POW