Life's Updates.....

Let me do a quick recap on life's changes over the past several months....

So I clearly should be divorced by now....but I'm not. I actually should have been finally divorced back in September, but something happened. I had a husband that told me he would do "whatever he had to do" to make it work. I figured I hadn't done all I could to make it work either, so why not......

Well, let me tell you why not. For starters, he moved back in....that lasted all of 2 months, which brings us to the point we're at now. Three weeks before the divorce was going to be final, I called the law office and told them to hold off. The lady kindly told me I had 365 days to go on with the proceedings before the case would be thrown out. After he got back, things were fine for a spell, and then I started having flashbacks.....I know, I know.....I shouldn't dwell on the past. Well, guess what?!!?! I wasn't. The reason I was having flashbacks is because I was seeing the same behaviors in him that I saw a year ago, which had us at that point in the first place.

Now I know people don't change overnight. I really do know that. But for me, it was about knowing someone had the desire to change. He didn't. Not for himself anyway. And what good was it going to do him to make adjustments strictly for me. That never works. It would be like me having a problem with a fat person, and them only wanting to lose weight to satisfy me. I'd rather not have that kind of pressure on somebody.

I get that no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean don't strive to be better. And if you don't feel like there's room for improvement, nor do you have the desire to make any, what's the point?

I just decided that I wouldn't wait another year for him to show me the same person I've already seen......and I hate when people say "I'll do whatever it takes", when clearly there should be some kind of clause....like say, "I'll do whatever it takes, except"....................

Ugh.

Stroke Mine!!

Okay, so I have a problem. I have taken many classes throughout the years. Many. And while I don't profess to remember every.single.thing from those classes, I have a little knowledge. I mean hey, I still remember that song, Fifty Nifty United States , and I learned that way back when. I'm just saying.....

Even in life's lessons, some things have not come easy for me. One class in particular that I was not fortunate enough to take was Ego Strokin 101. And while in previous years, I have stroked an ego or two, I realized later that it really wasn't worth my effort. It only made for overconfident men (boys) who were not in touch with reality. Simply put, those bamas just run out. And yes, I did say "bamas". I hear the older women around me say things like, "Girl, you know men need their egos stroked!" Well, you know what? I need my damn ego stroked too. If I allow myself to "stroke an ego" that clearly is not deserving of any stroking, that could easily be a recipe for disaster.

Now while I don't think it's okay to bruise one's ego, I'm all about being for real. I can't allow myself to lie or pretend, just so a grown man can feel good about himself. Who woulda ever thought men could be so sensitive and needy. So clearly I need some help.....because one day I'm sure I'll be in another relationship.....and maybe it won't be so hard. That's if the guy is doing something worthy of the strokin......

Another Friday Night....

At home alone. Well, not alone for real. My little sidekick is here with me, but she's asleep. AND I can't talk noise with her so....

It's been fifty leven years since my last real entry, so let me just explain why. Kind of. A couple of months ago, I ended up telling my soon to be ex about my blog. Not on purpose though. My email associated with this blog was up, blah, blah, blah...Well, that somewhat took away from the whole "me" in my anonymous blog. And even though I didn't direct him to the page, and he didn't actually see the page, it still took away from it. When I originally started this blog, it was supposed to be my thing. The things that I want to blog about, or the things that I have blogged about in the past aren't necessarily things he would want to know about. And that's another reason why I was doing it. MY outlet. Ya know?

It's been an interesting few months for the fam... I guess those escapades deserve entries of their own.............

Too Long!

It's been entirely too long since I've blogged. Like seriously. I'm back though. Not literally right this minute, but really soon. Lots of updates!