Baby Mama Complacency?

After perusing photobucket for cute pics of weddings or rings, I just couldn't resist stopping at this cute little animated engagement ring. I've been reading a lot of blogs that mention "putting a ring on it"....however, this "Put a Ring On It" blog has less to do with a man's complacency in just dating, and more with a woman having no problem not being married before having children. Now this may seem like I'm going in a different direction about marriage and such than before, but I'm just thinking....pardon me while I do so.

First things first, I was looking at a gossip site earlier this morning that was reporting Lebron James' possibility of proposing to his children's mother. Now because I'm not a real basketball fan, I was curious about Lebron's said bust it baby. I mainly wanted to know if this was a chick he's been with for a while. Not like it's making or breaking anything in my life, I'm just nosey like that. So anyway, I find out that the young lady is his high school sweetheart. I then stumble upon this message board thread and it made me think...is this young lady selling herself short in not waiting until they are married to have his children?

Then, shortly after, I tuned into youtube and watched one of Atlantasistah's vids about T.I. and his recent baby mama drama. Now I like T.I., but I'm not a big enough fan to know all about his children and such. All I know is that he's with Tiny....I guess. Anywhoo, AtlSis suggested that women have a "ring on it" before popping out these babies. Not that being married guarantees anything, but it's probably less of a fiasco if anything legal ever comes up. And that I agree with.

Just recently I had a very short conversation with a young lady. She's about 28 or 29yrs old and the mother of 5, six including her "fiance's" child. I'm not sure how long they've been together, but I know it's been long enough for her to have a few of his children.

I always wonder what takes men so long to realize they are with the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, especially when they have been in the relationship for a lengthy period of time. And then what really sucks is when a man knocks you up, time and time again, then leaves you (and ALL the children) to be with a woman with a little less baggage...how crazy is that?! Very. And what's even crazier is that (from what I hear) it happens all the time.

So goes the old adage "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Seriously though, does this have anything to do with "free milk"? Or is it moreso women settling for less than they deserve? I don't know....

Obviously being the "baby mama" is okay for many...Fantasia did say something about making it a holiday....

A Life Without Regrets

Seriously? Don't have regrets because at one point in my life it was exactly what I wanted...hmmmm....I used to look at that cute little quote, and think to myself, "True, true." Well, it is cute. And it is true, but.....

I'll be 30yrs old in a couple of years and guess what!?! I have regrets. While I do feel like many things in my life have helped mold me into the woman I am today, some of that stuff I could have done without. Yep, I do have regrets. Maybe some ppl truly have no regrets, but I'm not one of those folks. I wouldn't be a lady that contracted HIV saying I don't regret not having safe sex. I wouldn't be someone who ran a redlight and caused an accident saying I don't regret not being a safer driver. I wouldn't. That's just me though.

So like I said, yes, I have regrets....I regret:
-Losing focus on the important stuff during my last years of grammar school
-Losing my virginity at such a young age
-Not spending more time with either of my grandparents that are now long gone
-Not following my first mind on too many occasions to think about
-Not keeping my first car a little longer before going out to buy the brand new one
-Allowing my credit card debt to exist
-Sleeping with someone's husband
-Not speaking my mind sometimes

There are more things I wish I could take back or do differently. I can't help it. Somethings I just don't think I had to actually experience for myself in order to grow from. Honestly, I'd prefer to grow some from other people's experiences....again, that's just me...

Dreams Suck

that is, when they aren't yours. I don't know how to dream someone else's dream. That's hard. If it's not my vision, then I can't see it. And then that means that my patience is probably little, to non existent.

I hope this doesn't read as bad as it sounds coming to my mind, but I wish the "dream" would either suceed or fail so the next chapter of life can begin.....

Dang...piss or get off the pot already. And again, I know that I'm feeling this way because the dream isn't mine. My dream is for the people I care about the most to have their dreams come true. I want that. Really, I do....but......my patience isn't cooperating.

Baby Daddy Drama

After reading one of Jia's blogs earlier today, I got the urge to speak my $0.02 on the subject of babies and their daddies.

It's funny because this subject has been a hot topic lately, different aspects of it anyway.

So I asked my mom about 3 days ago, "Who's to blame when a child isn't taken care of? The mom for sleeping with a loser or the dad for not taking care of his responsibility?"

Almost with no hesitation, my mom said it was the woman's fault....WOW! I almost asked her if I should blame her for my dad's "here today, gone tomorrow" tactics the last 20 years...or is it different because I wasn't born out of wedlock. I was simply born into a marriage where the couple had their share of issues until they divorced.

So this is my thing, we all know that we should be more selective in who we give the draws too, and especially who we get pregnant by, but....BUT, is it not two willing participants in the sex act? Two to tango right? Well, what's the problem? I honestly don't understand why men have the option to take care of their child.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. When children come into the picture, all that other bull has to be put aside. I was lazy before I became a mother. I also hated to get up early in the morning on my days off. Well, guess what!?! I can't lay around all day on Saturday like I could premotherhood. It's not an option. And I could not see my child's father/a.k.a my husband having an option either. If he and I weren't married, I don't see him being apart of her life as being optional. It's just not. So yea, maybe I should be thankful that I haven't had to be the crazy "baby mama". Because let me just tell you, I would. No questions asked. I would not give the dude the opportunity to not be around. And no, you don't want to force anyone to do something they don't want to do, but whatever. Remember how your mom would tell you when you were younger, "You don't have a choice"? Well, dude wouldn't have a choice.

I'm so sick and tired of these dudes squirting sperm every which way but loose, then conveniently forgetting about it. That's so not how it's supposed to be....such as life....

Keyshia, Keyshia, Keyshia....

*I don't keep up with celeb life regularly enough to blog about it, but....

Since I'm such a fan of Keyshia Cole's reality show, I have felt compelled to atleast say something about that thing she called a finale. And I also have to speak on this latest cd.

First, how do you have a season finale that you don't even appear on? Unless I missed another 30 minutes, I didn't see Keyshia one time on the finale. All I saw was Neffe, being her normal over-the-top dramatic self, getting engaged. Congratulations Neffe. Seriously. I wish you the best.*

Now Keyshia, about this cd,"A Different Me"? Yea Keyshia, that was different. Please keep in mind that you've been "mainstream" for rougly 3yrs. In your first 2 albums, I could tell that there were lots of pinned up emotions and relationship issues that you seemed to be really feeling. I enjoyed...both of those cds. Now this last one, I have yet to really listen to it. I bought it, so you got my dime, but I don't see it making any heavy rotation.

Keyshia, you've not made it to the point where you can make "happy" music and it be okay. Now everyone is calling you mini-MJB, and I can kind of see where that would come from, but Keyshia. Do you know how many hits Mary made before she started dropping the "happy" albums? You haven't made it there yet. I think Mary was in about 6 or 7 albums deep before she did a switcharoo. Now this is not to say that I don't want you to be happy in your life, but you have to think about your fans. Don't nobody want to hear that ish.........

Lol! Do you girl. Like I said, you got my dime.

Oh wait, one more thing, what's this talk about a movie? Based on what? Your life? Keyshia...please. While I don't doubt that you had a hard time, I don't know that it's movie worthy. I mean, looking at the woman that actually gave birth to you probably could warrant a film of its own, but you were adopted. Remember? I'm sure making it to where you are today has been quite a journey, but making a movie about it? That's going a little too far. Why don't you hold off a little while on the movie thing. Your time is coming sweetie, just be patient.

Where Do I Start?

I have so much stuff floating around in my head I don't know where to start. My laptop is in need of an ac adapter that I have yet to order so......

In order for me to get power on that sucker it has to be in the right spot. Picture me jerking my cord round and round trying to get the battery sign to disappear from my task bar....

So....while I'm sitting at work waiting to become busy, I guess I'll try to get some blogging done....

Happy New Year!

If what they say is true: Whatever you're doing when the new year rolls in is how you're going to spend the rest of the year......

If that shit is true, I'm in for one lazy ass year. Hell, I was asleep until eleven, and only woke up because the hubby got me up....so we could "bring in the new year" together. Okay. That was fine, but still....WTF?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad and very thankful that I have lived another year, I just....I don't know. I guess the reality of my transition into family lady is really evident at times like this. Truthfully, I could be anywhere tonight, but I just can't. I couldn't. I don't have my little angel tonight because I'm working in the a.m. I figured why not let her spend MORE time with my aunt. Lol. But yea, that being said, I could have gone out and done something, but being a mommy now just won't let me.

I don't know man. I've been laying on the couch watching old episodes of The Office. Funny show.


I don't want to reflect on 2008. I mean I do, but there haven't been enough things going on. My life has been pretty routine. Nothing has really changed with me. I'm still focused on bettering myself and my family. That's a continuous process........

Oh shit, I have learned to be more patient (which is kiling me). And I'm learning the ins and outs of marriage. Still. They say that's an ongoing process as well. Oh, I've also made it at my new job the entire year. I didn't have doubts about it, but people keep asking me am I still enjoying it like something is going to change, so I'm keeping my eyes open just in case somebody knows something I don't know.

Other than all that, I'm on a paperchase. That Jay-Z and Foxy Brown song from 1998 just popped in my head...I'm going to go to bed now...or soon............

I Know I've Said This Before

but it bothers me when people keep doing the same shit expecting different results. I had a conversation with "Jen" the other day. She was one of the ones from a much earlier post. She was with a guy who was being emotionally and physically abusive. She got up the nerve to move out (back to her mom's) and leave the dude alone.

Well, she's been "out" of the relationship maybe 2 months or so. And that may be pushing it. Anyway, she's lonely at her mom's and she doesn't feel "at home". So what did she do? She got in touch with dude. WTF?! So they've been hanging out and now she's contemplating going back.

Seriously? You did all that shit just to move back? Because you are miserable at your mom's? Wow. I don't know what to tell her. And she's actually confused about the decision she has to make. Good grief. I'm so glad my mama didn't raise a weak woman.

Her goal is to be out of her mom's house by September granted she doesn't get back with the asshole. I asked what was the main thing holding her back...money. She doesn't make enough. So what's the thing to do when you aren't making enough money? Either get a better paying job or get an additional job. Duh. That's not hard. So if you want to be out of the house in the next 8 or 9 months, then wouldn't it be wise to start looking for additional ways to make money now? That's what I was thinking......

Since my brain is only good for me, I guess I'll let her figure it out. And sadly enough, I don't think she will. Ever. I see her going back by February, and being miserable about 2 weeks after the return. I'll keep you posted. Man I hope I'm wrong about this one.

Psycho Update

Earlier this week, I posted a blog entry about a chick being content being a side piece and some dude's girl hiring a private investigator to follow their every move.

Turns out, the story was much more than fabricated. There was no private investigator. The possible marriage is still in the air, but the runner up's guy made the shit up. He created a story in order to get information out of her. What a damn dumbass!!!

And although there are 3 sides to every story, right now, hers sounds like the more believable one. This dude is psychotic to say the least....we all know he's crazy, and have known this since day 1. Now she gets to see first hand....Between the gazillion text msgs he's sending her and showing up at her mom's house to read the bible, she has to know. I just hope he doesn't go apeshit. You know dudes are flippin out these days...........

Bobby Valentino

is not someone I've ever been a fan of, but.....

When he first came out, I thought he had more of a preppy, pretty boy swag. I could be wrong, because again, I'm not a fan. But tonight, I saw him on 106 & Party....can you say borderline thug with a dollop of preppiness? Seriously Bobby? What's with this new found thugdom?

Here's the Bobby (I never liked much) that I remember:


The Bobby I saw tonight, performing on BET had his damn pants up under his ass. The only thing he was basically missing was some gold fronts. Or platinum. Whatever they're putting in their mouths these days....

Dick Clark

Anyone see this dude on his little countdown special? Now I'm no Dick(Clark) fan so I don't know exactly what health issues he suffers from, but I could see that he indeed is suffering from something....

My guess is he's had a couple of strokes or three.....He speech was slurred and he just looked like he was having a hard time. Now I know it's "Dick Clark's....", but they couldn't have gotten someone else to read off the teleprompter? I mean, he could have just been there and free of the stresses of trying to keep up with the wording. Bless his heart, he couldn't even keep up with the numbers as they counted down. I think he had to skip one to get caught up. Poor Dick. Then abc chose to ruin my appetite for the next 3 days when they showed him kissing some lady (maybe his wife)...ugh.

Anywhoo, I'm glad Dick survived another year. I promise he looked like he was pushing it...